Heartbreak | bxb angst

Chapter 4

Vinny layed on his bed. His head was loud with thoughts storming inside, like a strong wind in a rainforest. He could only stay quiet, perhaps if he does, the wind would whisper answers to him, answers he is wishing for. The sky is dark outside, and the only thing lighting up is room is his bed lamp, creating a dim atmosphere which serves as comfort to the conflicted boy.

He lays on his side as the memory of Ked's touch plays over and over. A gesture that lingers upon him, one he couldn't understand no matter how much he thought of it.

His fingers absentmindedly traced patterns on the bedsheets as he stared at Ked's beanie laying next to his head. What does it mean? Was it just a playful act? If so then why is the atmosphere weighing him down with weight he hadn't considered before?

He shuts his eyes, imagining the walls closing in. He yearned for clarity.

A rumble in his stomach disturbed his trance. He opened his eyes, groaning as he sat up.

"I'm fucking hungry." He spoke to himself, realising his nerves had stopped him from eating today.

He walked to his fridge, groaning again in disappointment when he only saw cans of soft drinks inside. Cursing a million times in his head he made a mental note to go grocery shopping soon. It was his first time living alone, basic chores are still easily forgettable by the boy.

As a last resort, not wanting to spend the night starving, he took his phone out and wrote a text message.

-

Vinny:
Jude

Jude:
Yes, Vinny?

-

He smiled at the immediate response.

-

Vinny:
I'm really hungry
And i have no food 🤦‍♂️

Jude:
I think i have dinner leftovers. I can come over and bring them for you?

Vinny:
That'll be awesome. Thanks.

Jude:
Give me 15 minutes, k? Drink some water while you wait.

-

A knock at the door startled Vinny. He was sitting at the dining table, head resting on his arm as he waited for his friend. He winced at his stomach growling again as he walked to the front door to open it. There, he sees his black haired friend smiling warmly at him, carrying a tupperware of food. He lets her in and they both sat at the table.

"I knew something was up with you." Jude said, watching the boy hungrily scarf down food.

Vinny didn't answer, only continued to stuff his face. Jude respected this and stayed quiet, taking her time to look around her surroundings.

The house was familiar. She hasn't been in there for years, but very little things had changed from the few times she visited when she was younger. The now peeling paint and visible small cracks on the walls tells the amount of time that has passed. Jude was glad to be here once again.

"Are you done?" Jude asked noticing Vinny already taking his last bite.

He nodded, thanking her quietly. His gaze is still stuck to his feet, and this crushed Jude's heart as she cleaned up after him.

"Oh, what am I gonna do with you?" She coos, gently rubbing the brunette's shoulder. "You wanna go back to your room?"

The boy nodded again, Jude took his hand and they both walked upstairs back to Vinny's somber room.

Just before Vinny started to lay down, Jude stopped him and fixed up his pillows so he wouldn't be laying down completely. "It's not good to lay down after a meal."

Vinny layed down on his now arranged bed, feeling the comfort of it once again. He looked at Jude still standing awkwardly, then pats at the spot next to him, gesturing her to lay next to him.

Jude thanked a higher power that the room is dark, successfully hiding her flustered expression as she obliged and took the spot, heart thumping in her chest.

"What's wrong?"

Vinny shook his head as a response.

"I don't even know." He sighed.

"College life beating your ass?"

Jude almost sighed in relief seeing Vinny smile at her joke.

"It's not that.. well, not exactly. But kinda." Vinny muttered out.

Jude nodded understandingly. "You'll get used to it. It'll be okay."

Vinny felt a tiny bit consolated. Just the presence of Jude brings peace to him, almost like she stopped the loud thoughts storming around his head.

He closed his eyes and rested his head on her shoulder. He felt the girl tense up at the contact, so in an attempt to ease her he said, "Sorry, but.. just let me stay like this for a while."

Jude exhales to relax herself. She can't brush off the feeling of Vinny's head on her shoulder. It was warm and electrifying. It took everything in her to not take the boy completely and snuggle him in her arms.

They both stayed in that position for what seemed like a long, quiet, but very much comforting minute. Jude couldn't ask for anything more than this moment with the boy of her dreams.

A sudden question escaped Vinny's mouth, interrupting the silence. A question even Jude would never expect coming from her childhood companion.

"Jude, how do you feel about gay people?"

She sat there shocked for a minute, subconsciously holding her breath. She lets go and responded,

"Why do you ask?" Her voice trembling ever so slightly. She tries to calm herself down and tells herself to not rush into conclusions so quickly. However, something crumbled in her still, especially after hearing what Vinny says next.

"I-I think.. I might be.."

Jude couldn't stand the pain starting to emerge out of her chest. So she disturbed the boy mid-speaking by sitting up straight and grabbing his face with both hands to look at hers.

"I love you.." She blurted out, stuttering as her lips quiver.

"..no matter what." She manages to add at the end, just when realisation hits her consciousness straight on. She can't be careless. Her world is quite literally in her hands right now, one wrong move and it could come down crumbling before her eyes.

Vinny, taking it as Jude giving him full support on the situation, smiled, clueless to the girl's overflowing feelings spilling out from her heart. He pulled her to a hug, thanking his friend.

Jude's heart stays thumping. Hard. But in each beat, it felt like knives stabbing her from the inside out, tears brimming in her eyes from the pain of her unsaid feelings. She held Vinny, tight, her hands not willing to ever let him go.