It's You [ Jikook/Kookmin ] || English Ver

Chapter Thirty One

Jimin's POV

Daegu, 6pm

I am standing in front of his apartment now and I don't have idea for how long. I was just staring at his front door, even though I know he left almost 3 hours ago. I bowed my head and smiled. Not long enough, the smile on my face diminished; I hate him. I hate him so much. Soon, my tears started falling. I didn't cry because he left, but because everything reminded me of it once again. Now I find myself feeling awful about it all once more. And when I do, I can't stop. When I do, I fall back to the naive, weak, and stupid version of myself.

Gathering all my strength, I wiped away my tears, took a deep breath, and mustered the courage to step outside the building. I needed to go to a bustling place with many people. I needed that right now.

Upon reaching the amusement park, I promptly walked around, watches over the rides and looking at their reactions or watches how chaotic kids are. I was focusing on the noises, it was incredibly loud, but it made me feel alive, and I no longer felt all alone.

After a while, it felt like someone was tugging me. I looked down and saw a kid reaching out his hand, offering me a balloon. The sweet gesture from the little one touched me.

"Is this for me?" He didn't answer, and he quickly left after I accepted the balloon. I noticed him approaching a man, presumably the child's father as the little kid hugged the said man. I stared at the balloon, smiling, feeling warmth in my heart.

"Excuse me," A woman approached me, smiling and pointing to the kid. "That's my son." I was surprised at first, greeted her, and bowed my head slightly.

"My son told us you looked sad, and that makes him sad too. He's a little sensitive baby." The mother chuckled softly. It wasn't an insult; she was simply admiring her thoughtful son. I looked at the kid and felt my eyes sting.

“He asked for a balloon and we were surprised when he gave it to you. I hope that makes you feel a lot better.”

"I know it's not my place to say this but," the woman patted my back, "You can overcome this, stay strong!" I smiled a little; she bowed to me as well and approached her family. The father carried the kid while the mother clung to her husband's arm as they walked away.

The balloon slipped through my fingers, and I only stared at it. Despite my best efforts, people are still able to see right through me. How pathetic. I scoffed when I noticed how damp my cheeks were, I wiped them away, and quickly left the amusement park.

I grab a cab, and the moment I stepped inside, I was done for but managed to tell the driver my location. I cried and cried, trying to hold back my sobs inside the car. I attempted to calm myself, but the tears just kept streaming, and my heart really hurt—it was so heavy. I took a deep breath and distracted myself by looking outside the window.

“You're okay, Jimin-ah.” I keep repeating it to myself like a mantra. “You're okay.” I assured myself and presses my eyes shut, I was afraid I'll completely break down and focused on my breathing.

When I arrived, I quickly paid the driver and rushed into the building. As I reached my floor, I pressed the button desperately, as if someone were chasing me, even though there wasn't. Upon entering my place, everything seemed to unravel. I cried intensely, the emotions overwhelming me. The intensity was so much that I wished I could rip my chest open to make it stop. I never desired to be abandoned, left with this sense of betrayal and loneliness. I desperately wished for it to end, but it seemed impossible.