Cold as Ice: The Heart of Stone

Chapter 19 - Ouch

"You ready Stoney?"
"Hello??"

A hand waves in front of my face as I stare at the floor.

"Huh—sorry what you say Beth?" I zoned out. I'm to busy worrying about leaving the hospital, that's one thing with me, I hated it and didn't wanna be here but then I had to be, I got used to it all and I guess comfortable? and now I'm leaving to go back to the outside world were there is a media storm over my inevitable return to Arsenal.

"I said are you ready?" She picks up my bags and heads for the door.

"Uh yeah, let's go." I'm not ready.

I said I'd stay at Beth and Viv's for my 'recovery' as I'm meant to stay with someone. I wouldn't say it caused an argument between me and Leah but she thought I was pushing her out 'again' as she put it. That isn't what I was trying to do, I tried to explain about the space and not rushing things but I think I made it worse because she took it more to heart than I thought she would. Like, we are okay? I guess, but she isn't here right now as I'm leaving, apparently she has some sponser things to do which I definetly don't believe.

On a better note, I feel great—body wise. I basically have no pain, I had my stitches out and it's just scabs that will heal eventually, my voice is nearly back fully—just a couple of croaks here and there and the most important thing is that I can move around pretty much like normal.

I've been given a list of recovery stuff to do along side Arsenal physio that Leah of course took a photo of to be a pain in my arse and constantly remind me. They gave me medication if I need it (I've already thrown them in the bin, oops) and other than that I'm all set.

I already said bye to Chris, I promise him I would come everyday, and I'm always true to my word.

Beth gently placed her hands in my shoulders giving me a shake, "Come on then, you're dragging your feet."

"Alright, calm down will ya. I'm coming."

I walk through the hospital, out to the car with Beth and see Viv stood with a bunch of balloons but that wasn't before cameras were shoved in my face left right and centre. I walk through ignoring them all. It really took everything in me not to grab a camera and shove it up a bald man's arse. I may have called him a clapped moron, but it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission ain't it?

"You guys are soppy ain't ya?" I smile giving them both a hug trying to ignore everything else around me.

"It's only because you're not fully recovered yet that I'm not punching you for that." Viv says catching me by suprise as she jump in the car. I still don't really know where I stand with Viv. We are fine, but I know she still has reservations.

I pout before a smile creeps in. "I'm joking, thankyou guys."

The drive back to theirs was more or less silent. I just feel odd, maybe it was the camera and the questions being thrown at me but I'm maybe going back inside of myself? I am really trying to be more open and less frustrated so quickly. It's almost as if I have nothing to say, which is odd for me because I always have plenty to say especially with Beth. Something is off with them too... they are very quiet, maybe the media threw them off to. Everything just feels weird.

"How are you and Leah?" Beth breaks the silence. I see Viv give a glaring side eye in the rear view mirror towards me.

I shrug, "I'm not sure, if I'm honest."

"Expand?"

"Just, I don't know I think I hurt her feelings when—"

"What have you done this time?" Viv's tone is harsh, like she isn't asking... she's accusing before I get a chance.

"Let her speak Viv!"

"It's okay, I just... I wanna take things slow and do things different to before which is why I asked to stay at yours and didn't except to stay at hers, but I think she got hurt about it and she thought I was pushing her away but that isn't—that's not—"

"Rori, slow down, it's okay! I'm sure it was just in the moment sort of thing. Just talk to her, me and Viv are going to the cinema tonight and was gonna see if you was up for it, but if you like invite Leah round for a talk?"

"I dunno Beth, I'm not great at the whole initiating thing, I just seem to say the wrong things when I'm trying to be honest...I guess, it's just...hard...for me."

For me to admit something like that, is huge. As soon as I said it I wanted to throw up.

"I'm sorry, I was harsh Rori, that wasn't fair. I know you're trying your best."

—

Stepping in the door almost felt like a relief. Beth insisted on taking my bag which just made my frustration grow because I don't need her to do that but I'm letting it slide.

Throwing myself into the sofa I decide to text Leah.

Rori S: I know your probably busy but do you wanna come to Beth later?

Leah W: Why?

Okay, that's not really the response I wanted.
Beth had been telling me she's not herself lately which only worries me more.

Rori S: Nevermind, enjoy your evening

Fuck sake. I tried and Sarah would say that's all I can do, but is it? shall I go round hers and talk? is that to much if she clearly doesn't wanna see me right now?

"Yo Beth!"

She rushes down the stairs with a thud. "Everything okay?" She asks clearly stressed.

"Uh, yeah? why are you running?" I raise an eyebrow.

"I thought something was wrong."

I shake my head, "Nah nah nah, nothing like that—I was just gonna ask for some advice. I got the impression Leah doesn't wanna come here but I just sort of shut it down straight away, shall I go to hers or just leave it?"

"You can drive right?"

"Mhm."

"I would go, you two need to talk but for the love of god...drive carefully."

I spoke to Beth for alittle longer before having a shower and getting changed. In a sudden burst of energy I bolt down the stairs and grab my keys.

"Rori don't—"

Sorry Beth, no time to chat.

I drive to Leah's which is only a short drive. I scramble out of the car and stood before Leah's door, my knuckles poised to knock. I hesitated, "Fuck it." I banged on the door probably too manically as my hand repeatedly smacked against the cold wood.

The door swung open, revealing a figure I hadn't expected – Leah's ex, Jordan, standing there with a faint surprise on her face.

Ouch.

I felt like I'd been knocked me off my feet and was straightly punch in the gut. The wave of overthinking that flooded my veins was overwhelmingly.

"Rori?" She said, her voice tinged with confusion. "What brings you here?"

Me? is she joking?

Before I could even attempt to answer, Leah's angelic voice echoed from inside the house, "Who's at the door Jord?"

Jordan stepped aside, gesturing for me to come in, a mix of curiosity, apprehension and smugness in her expression.

She ushers again but I'm planted on the spot.

My feet suddenly do the talking as I start slowly taking a step, but it most definitely wasn't forward.

"Rori?" Jordan says again confused, but it was to late, I turned around and jumped back in my car.

What the fuck is this bullshit? give me a fucking break.

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Authors notes:

*Feel free to leave any suggestions. I have a good idea as to where this book is going but would love inspiration*