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。・* ; Little • Seungmin 。・* ; Caregiver • Jeongin
˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Non Idol AU ˚ ༘☆ ⋆｡˚ TW ? : tiny bit of swearing (1 word) ！ ——————————————————————
Seungmin can only rely and trust himself, at least he thinks so. He isn't so sure on trusting himself, or anyone. Not even his friends or closest friends. For the past few days, he's continuously dwelling upon his past experiences, his childhood, everything. Everything in his life was just blurry that he can barely recall any good memories in his childhood. God he hates how he wants to open up to someone yet he fears of opening up to them. Like, what if they just tell him to shut up? What if they tell him it's just some phase? What if they tell him worse things than that? What if they just pretend they care but they actually don't?
。。。
Seungmin laid slump on his bed, scrolling through his phone ; wanting to distract himself from that shitty feeling in the pit of his stomach until knocking is heard behind the bedroom door. He groans as he gets up from the bed, trudging towards his door. Oh, it's his roommate, Jeongin. He didn't think his low mood was that obvious to notice from the few days but he just sighs while opening the door for his roommate.
"Anything you need?" Seungmin bluntly asks, peeping from the side of the door. Jeongin is somewhat shocked by how Seungmin's tone and behaviour suddenly changed. He used to be so energetic and happy but right now it's the opposite.
"I...just wanted to talk to you about something, if that's okay with you," Jeongin says, shuffling his feet awkwardly. The older just nods as he lets the younger in. Seungmin plops onto the bed and pats the space next to him so they can proceed.
"Uhm...I just wanted to say that you've not been acting like yourself lately ; like, at all. Is there something wrong, Minnie?" Jeongin questions, clearly worrying the both of them. Seungmin pauses. Is he going to have to open up? He just shakes his head. He doesn't want to burden the younger with his thoughts. That would be utterly selfish of him to just do that. Plus, he doesn't want anybody pitying him over silly, stupid, small things anyway.
"No. Everything's fine, Jeongin-ah," Seungmin states, avoiding eye contact with him. He fidgets with his hands with uncertainty. Did Jeongin buy that lie? Surely he should've. It sounded believable enough for someone to believe. If Jeongin didn't believe that then what else can he say? He doesn't want to be a burden or a waste of time to Jeongin but Jeongin senses that obvious lie. Jeongin's eyebrows furrow in worry as he scoots himself a bit closer to Seungmin ; placing his hand onto his.
"I don't think everything is fine, Seung, I can tell you're lying. Please tell me what's bothering you," Jeongin says, sympathy laced within his voice. He wants to help the older & comfort them. Jeongin doesn't want his roommate to suffer in silence
"I'm not lying, Jeongin. Please don't worry about me, really, everything's fine," Seungmin declines the offer, looking at Jeongin desperately to not think about worrying about him. Seungmin feels as if he doesn't deserve the worrying & the sympathy ; it just doesn't feel right to suddenly have his emotions validated after all the invalidation all his life. At least that was something he could remember though. Tears prickle in his eyes as he felt even more of a burden to Jeongin. Jeongin didn't deserve a roommate like him. Jeongin didn't deserve to have a freak like himself to be living with him. At this point he doesn't even realise that he's crying. Jeongin immediately embraces Seungmin into his arms, hushing him as the older clutches onto the other's shirt. It was obvious that Seungmin had slipped now.
Jeongin stays in his place, quietly hushing Seungmin's sobs. He knew how difficult it was to open up to people, he's been in that position himself.
"Shhh, Seung. Just—just let it all out..." Jeongin sighs, rubbing the elder's back. Sniffles and sobs were muffled into the boy's shirt.
Seungmin was so tired of holding everything in. He's so tired of constantly feeling that immense loss of innocence and youth he should've had in the first place. He's tired of acting 'too mature' for his age even if he's 23. He's just tired. He sobs even harder, hands clutching onto Jeongin's shirt impossibly even tighter. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve all this comforting. He doesn't deserve Jeongin. Jeongin is too nice for him, too sweet for him, too caring. He isn't used to this.
。。。
"You feel better now, Seung?" Jeongin asks as he hands Seungmin a small cup of water. The little nods as he gulps down some of the water ; dehydrated from how much he's been crying. Seungmin places the cup onto the counter with both hands to then whine, his hands then attempting to grab onto Jeongin. The younger just coos as he lifts Seungmin onto his hip, legs instantly wrapping around his hips as he yawns.
"Someone needs to have a nap, don't they. Hm?" Jeongin chuckles as he sways Seungmin side to side on his hip. The elder just pouts and shakes his head. He doesn't want to have a nap, not just yet.
"You've been crying for so long. Surely you're tired, right?" He asks. He would be surprised if Seungmin wasn't tired. Yet, he's right. The little yawns again, nuzzling into the side of Jeongin's neck. Jeongin simply carries Seungmin to his bedroom, laying him in bed and covering him with his duvet. It's only just now he's realised how child-like Seungmin's room is. He leans down to the sleepy figure and gives a small peck onto his head.
"Sleep well, Seung. Please remember that everything about you is valid."
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I don't really have anything to say about this (*ﾉ∀'*)
