Lost Future

I'll get it back

I heard voices and my beloved daughter's name being mentioned making me look for the source. Slowly, I opened my eyes and I saw a figure that I'm still very much familiar with even after years already passed since I last saw him.

"T-Taehyung-ah." I called out as if I was whispering.

Surprise is evident on his face when he noticed that I was the one calling. Quickly, he rushed to my side and caressed my face.

"Hyun. Are you feeling better? Do you want anything?" He asked continuously and his tone filled with concern.

I just shook my head and replied weakly, "Nope. I'm fine. Sorry for making you worry."

He was probably too surprised when he heard me call that he wasn't able to even wipe the fresh tears from his handsome face. Seeing these tears made me focus on Taehyung's eyes and there I saw how much pain he was currently feeling. It's not the redness or the swelling of his eyes that gave it away, he's just like that; whatever he feels, whatever he thinks, everything can be seen through his eyes.

Right then and there, with the way that he looks at me I know; he already knows.

"You know already." I confirmed and instead of receiving a nod or a yes, he hugged me tightly and buried his face on the crook of my neck. There, once again, the man that I love cried his heart out for the child that he lost and never knew of.

Hugging him back while patting him on the back, I saw Jennie standing by the door giving me a small smile which I returned out of gratefulness for breaking the news for me. Quietly, she went out of the room to attend to our little princess while giving Taehyung and I time to finally clear things up.

After feeling like Taehyung finally calmed down, I broke away from the hug first and wiped the tears that are covering his handsome features away.

"I'm very sorry." I started apologizing when I should have done this right from the start.

"Don't." He shook his head after shushed me. "You've already been through enough. I won't lie and tell you that I'm not disappointed or hurt, but I know you Hyun. You have your reasons and I'm partly at fault as well."

"No!" This time, it was my turn to shake my head and stop him from taking the blame. It's not his fault. It's was never his fault. "It was my decision and I didn't even give you the chance to take part in that decision when you have all the right to do so. I was selfish thinking that I was doing you a favor. I was wrong."

My emotions are once again riled up and I can't stay still like this if I would be explaining everything. I suddenly got out of my bed and started pacing back and forth as I try to find the words that I've wanted so much to tell him.

As I'm fighting with myself, I saw him about to stand up and reach for me probably worried thinking that I might break down again but no, I won't. I just need to get this done so that everything can go back to where they belong, so that he can go back where he belongs.

"Stop!" I extended my hand out to tell him to stay where he is. "Just let me say my part."

And like an obedient child, he sat back on my bed and just stared at me still worriedly.

"Okay." I inhaled deeply as I look for the courage to start. When I finally calmed my nerves, I begun, "Truth is, I had everything planned out. From the moment I broke up with you until the part that I gave birth to my precious angel. I even had plans after that and onwards."

I continued pacing with my hand on my forehead as it is very difficult to come up with the best way to express how I felt and currently feel and also to let him know and understand my actions.