Lost Future

7 years Ago

"Let's break up."

That was the first thing that came out of my mouth the moment we settled in our seats. It was evident in the way his eyes widened and his back straightened that he didn't see that coming. Honestly, no one would have predicted these words to come from me. After all, everyone knows how crazily in love I am with him and everything I've done and went through just to be with him.

"Hyun, it's not even April fools anymore to be joking like that." He tried to laugh it off holding on to the belief that it was just one of my pranks.

"Look at me Taehyung-ah"

Though hesitantly, he still did.

"Do you still think I'm joking?" I said it with so much coldness in my tone that I can even feel it run through my skin giving me goosebumps all over my body. I know what I'm doing is cruel but it has to be done. It needs to be done.

"Let's just say that what you're saying is true and you're serious about this. Can you at least give me a reason for you to ask of this?" He creased his brows in frustration.

"I just want to."

I shrugged it off like it wasn't even a big deal. In truth though, I'm using all of my acting skills to hide the pain that is brought about by the multiple stabs that my heart was taking for every word and every lie that I was breathing.

Then I heard him chuckle loudly and he was holding his stomach as he laughs his head off. It was now my turn to crease my brows and look at him like he was some kind of lunatic.

"Wow Hyun. You are really the best with these kinds of prank. I almost fell for it like when you joked about being pregnant last week for April Fools." He stated while still laughing his heart out. "Did you know how embarrassing it was when I had to take back what I said to Taeyeon noona since I announced it to her the moment you sent me the message. Luckily she bought it when I told her it was just an April Fools joke when you also told me that you were just playing with me. That was epic."

He still thinks I'm just fooling around and I can't blame him since I've pulled off quite a lot of stunts like this before and he always falls for it. This time though I'm no longer joking around. This time, it's true. I really want to break up with him. It's funny how the first time he didn't believe me is the first time that I actually meant it.

"Let's not make this difficult and messy Taehyung-ah. I really want to break up." I made sure I sounded stern and it worked, I got his attention and he stopped laughing. "Don't give yourself a hard time by denying my intention."

He took my hand in his and held on to it tightly, afraid of letting go.

"D-don't do this to me." He said with his voice almost cracking.

I wanted to look at him so much to engrave his every feature into my brain but I can't bring myself to do so. I know he's tearing up and I'm scared that if I see him breaking down I won't be able to do what I have to.

"Don't you love me anymore? Is there someone else? Did I do something wrong? Tell me! Tell me and I'll fix it. I'll do anything..." He placed my hand on his cheeks and I can feel his tears flowing. "...just don't leave me."

All along I thought I can be tough enough to go through with this without breaking, but as his tears soak my hands, cracks break my heart. I was trying my best to get my tears in check. It won't be convincing if I cry as well. Everything would just dwindle into dust if I let my emotions take control of me. I need to be strong, at least until I've finished everything and leave.

"It's something that cannot be fixed anymore." I caressed his cheek with my thumb in the gentlest manner that I can as if consoling him after giving him so much pain. "It's something that I need to do for myself and I know I can't do it if I'm still with you."