The Rise Of The Morningstar (Eng. Version)

Chapter 45 - Deadly Cold

Chapter 45 – Deadly Cold

The last remnants of snow crackled under my feet as I left the Gard's compound. Eyes down at the smooth stone pavement, I tried to ignore Jace, who was so close I could feel his body heat through my coat. My arm hung over his shoulders as he slowly placed one foot in front of the other; the pace so slow for my sake that frustration would have nearly choked me if the pain hadn't already been squeezing all the oxygen out of my lungs. On the outside, I had to look helpless. Weak. It was my idiot pride trying to convince itself otherwise. I was hurt and vulnerable because I had let a demon impale me to save Jace's life.

I stopped a few yards from the Gard's gates and tried to pull away from Jace. "I can walk on my own," I uttered, and my hot breath blew little white clouds into the cold evening air.

It had gotten dark while we were meeting with the Inquisitor. The sun had disappeared behind the mountains of Idris while Jace and I had sat at her desk, listening to her talk to herself. My body had been so consumed by the pain that I could barely remember anything she had said. All I remembered now was the stunning view of Alicante from her office; how brilliant sky-blue had turned to rose-pink orange and finally been swallowed up by an ocean-blue darkness.

Jace tilted his head back to get a better look at my face, but made no move to let go of my arm. He raised one arched blond brow and pressed his lips together as if I'd said something utterly absurd. "You can't even make it to the end of the street without help, Clary," he remarked seriously, but a smile crept onto his mouth.

"I'm tired of being patronized by all of you," I murmured, tugging hard on my arm, which caused Jace to let go and I stumbled, doubled over against the nearest wall, the jerky movement causing me to see stars.

"That's what I meant." Jace's voice was conflicted. As if he wanted to rub it in my face that he was right but couldn't suppress his concern.

By now the pain had become unbearable. Every movement burned like my muscles were on fire. Every movement was slow and stiff, as if my body was made of stone instead of flesh and bone. My sense of balance had deserted me the moment I had sat down in the Inquisitor's office. So who was I fooling? Jace was right and I would never make it back to the Basilias without his help. But I was stubborn. So stubborn that this trait would kill me.

I leaned against the wall of some house and stared in Jace's direction. At least I hoped he was where my eyes were staring, for my vision was nothing but a solid white, slowly fading in intensity. Jace took a few steps toward me and grabbed my forearm again. His form slowly took shape before my eyes, and I had to tilt my head back because he was closer than I had expected. Frustration crept across his face as he looked down at me through darkened eyes. In contrast, his fingers felt too soft around my wrist.

"I hope we can postpone this visit to the Seelie Queen as far back as possible," he said quietly, and I suddenly realized that his frustration wasn't directed at me.

I narrowed my eyes in confusion and was about to tilt my head when the memory flashed through my brain like a flash of light. I had completely forgotten about that part of conversation with Imogen. The part where she had hired me to do the Clave's dirty work again. Maybe I had deliberately tuned her out as I had watched the sky change color on the horizon, because feeling taken advantage of. Today they had already excluded me from the vote, even though they had put me in charge of negotiating the treaty. It would always come down to the same thing.

The Accords with the Shadowworlders didn't include all clans. Vampires, werewolves, and warlocks had willingly met with us, making their concerns a condition of their help. But nothing had been heard from the fairies for weeks. The Queen of the Seelie Court had not sent a representative to meet with the Shadowhunters. She hadn't even answered the Inquisitor's invitation. No one could say with certainty whether this was due to me as a negotiating partner or general disinterest. The Clave didn't rule out that she stayed out because she wasn't ultimately dependent on Earth's fate. She had her own world, which would continue to exist without the Nephilim.