one year - gar logan

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(TW: mentions of suicide) ⚠️
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Gar dashes urgently to the bathroom upon hearing your quiet sobs. It's the first time he's witnessed you in such a vulnerable state, sitting on the cold, tiled bathroom floor, your back leaning against the wall.

He approaches you with genuine concern, the haunting echoes of your sobs filling the confined space, and crouches down to your level. His voice is soft as he asks in a worried tone, "What happened?" His thumb gently wipes away your tears, the warmth of his touch providing a comforting contrast to the cool atmosphere.

You sigh, a heavy sadness settling within you. Unsure whether to tell him the truth, you stammer, "I- uh..." Gar meets your gaze with the patience of a literal saint. "It's okay, take your time," he says, a faint smile playing on his lips, his voice gently breaking.

As you inhale shakily, you muster the strength to continue, "It's- Today is one year since my attempt. Since I tried to kill myself." Your voice trembles, laying bare the weight of your confession, the room hanging heavy with the shared vulnerability.

He retrieves his phone from his pocket, the cool metal sending a shiver down his spine. As he glances at the screen to check the date, a horrified expression creeps across his face, confirming that a whole year has passed since your attempt. "Don't worry, Y/N. You're feeling better now, right?" he reassures, his voice warm but carrying a hint of concern. His attempt at a reassuring smile doesn't quite reach his eyes, and you sense a subtle unease beneath his composed exterior.

His words linger in the air, filled with genuine concern, yet you catch a flicker of vulnerability in his gaze. The room seems to hold its breath as he carefully selects each word as if treading on fragile ground.

"I know but I remember it like it was yesterday," you admit, tears swelling in your eyes. "I remember every single thing I did. The hum of the shower, the click of the lock. The pills on the counter. I just wish I would've told someone. I never should have done that to you. Fuck!" You break down in tears, while Gar pulls you into a tight, reassuring embrace. "It's okay, calm down. Talk to me, let it all out," he comforts you, his eyes mirroring your pain.

You take a deep breath to gather your thoughts. "I literally remember the music I was listening to while I waited for the pills to kick in. I remember the faces of the cops when they arrived, my mum's face when she realised what had happened, how disappointed my dad was in me. Everything." Gar holds your hands tightly, the warmth of his touch a grounding force as you fight to regain control. His gentle fingers caress your face, and he nods for you to continue.

"I remember thinking about how disappointed everyone probably was in me. I mean- what would you think when you found out? I'm just- I'm sorry," you confess, your voice choked with remorse.

Your green-haired boyfriend clasps your trembling hands, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears. He finally allows his tears to fall as you quietly sob. He tenderly wipes away your tears. "Look, when you did it, I was terrified of losing you," he explains. "I didn't even know what to think. I just didn't want to lose you." His voice trembles and tears stream down his face.

Finally, unable to contain his emotions, he wraps his arms around you to try to avoid worrying you. As you both embrace, the room is filled with the sound of quiet sobs and the warmth of shared vulnerability. Gar's voice, now softer, reaches your ear, "You're stronger now. Don't let it go to your head, okay? I'm here."

You bury your face in Gar's shoulder, finding comfort in your boyfriend's presence. With a shaky exhale, you manage a small nod, appreciating him being here in that fragile moment. You hold onto his embrace, feeling a mix of gratitude and fear of burdening him with your pain. "I'm sorry I put you through all that pain. It wasn't fair on you," you murmur, your voice barely audible. You feel the weight of guilt settling in the air.

Gar gently pulls away, cupping your face in his hands, his eyes searching yours with unwavering sincerity. "Y/N, you're not a burden. I care about you, and I want to be here for you." He brushes his thumb across your cheek, wiping away the lingering tears. "I know it's not easy, but I want you to know that you never have to do it alone. I'll always be here for you."

As you lock eyes with him, the weight of his words begins to soften the edges of your guilt. Gar offers a tender smile, his eyes reflecting a mixture of love and concern. You take a deep breath, letting Gar's words sink in. The room feels less suffocating, and the weight on your shoulders begins to lift, if only slightly. "Thank you," you whisper, your voice carrying a fragile gratitude.

Gar leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I mean it," he reassures, his eyes searching yours for any lingering shadows of pain. "I love you, Y/N." A small smile forms on your face as you gaze into his eyes. "I love you too, Gar."

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