ANBU boot camp

Chapter 1-

He did not notice the boy until said boy was halfway done vandalizing the Hokage monument. That, in itself, impressed him, more so was that NO ONE else noticed till after the boy was done AND set off a small smoke bomb just to get the village's attention. What followed was a run the likes of which the man had not seen in years. Part of him was greatly impressed as the boy outran, dodged, maneuvered and outthought the elite ANBU, skilled and seasoned Jōnin, and many, many Chūnin...

Of course, the other part of him was enraged. Not at the boy, but at the ANBU. How could HIS elite ANBU, many he trained personally, have let themselves get so sloppy as to let the boy outwit them so easily? The boy had a skill, there was no doubt, and the observer would not take it away from him. But the Elite Shinobi should not be outsmarted THAT easily.

He watched the Blonde and knew who the kid was the moment he saw that shade of blonde hair. He watched as the boy ducked down an alleyway. He saw that the kid let the Chūnin academy instructor catch him, and he watched as the boy smiled and laughed and joined said instructor for a bowl of ramen.

The observer then went to the records room at the academy and looked up the boy's records. What he found made no sense, on paper the boy was less than useless. He made copies of all the graduating student's records and quickly snuck into the teacher's lounge. He observed the teachers talk, and what he learned tempted him to break his cover as well as their necks. Decades of training in the art of infiltration taught him enough self-control not to do either...but he was severely tested.

His next stop was a lone teacher squirreled away in his private office.

The teacher Mizuki was asleep, his head was resting on his desk. The observer performed a mind-reading Jutsu that the Yamanaka's taught him. What he learned tempted him to kill...again. This creep planned to use Naruto to steal a scroll from the Hokage's tower and then frame the boy for treason or outright kill him. Instead of killing the traitor, the observer came up with a plan on the spot.

This village would not know what hit them.

"You passed him?" a councilor asked shocked. "Even after he stole a scroll from your personal quarters?"

"Yes, impressive don't you think?" the Hokage asked as he took a few 'victory' puffs from his pipe.

"Lord Hokage, you can't be serious! We can't let him represent Konoha as a shinobi, he will be an embarrassment! The boy could barely pass, and he shows no outright skill other than making trouble..."

The counselor had taken a different approach to attacking Naruto, knowing how the Hokage favored the boy. The Hokage sat there and frowned. He opened his mouth was about to reply...

"One-hundred-sixty-eight," a voice broke the silence.

Everyone froze. Although they couldn't describe the person who spoke – some sort of Jutsu or Genjutsu hid him – they knew that voice. Hiruzen reached into his desk and pulled out an old dusty calendar where he checked the date.

"You're late, your banishment ended seven days ago," the old man spoke.

"I have been here, I was taking care of the paperwork for the last ten years."

The Sandaime Hokage just nodded. "Welcome home Kuzai. 168?"

"The number of ANBU, Jōnin, and Chūnin the boy was able to outsmart and outrun, not to mention the fact that NO ONE saw him paint the monument until after he was done. You say he has no skills but causing trouble?" Kuzai said as he looked at the still silent men.