The Nutcracker Project [Gen L Society #3]

Chapter 2

Fanclub

"Aum... aum... aum..."

With eyes closed, I continued chanting this mantra like what I'd always done ever since my mother started teaching me yoga and meditation. Ten years old lang ako noon at ito ang naging unang bonding session namin ni mom.

After almost an hour, I stood up from my sitting position. Inayos ko ang yoga mat na inupuan ko sabay tingin sa orasan sa aking bedside table. 6:00 am. On the dot.

Nagtungo ako sa bathroom para maghilamos. As soon as I saw my face in front of the mirror, I immediately looked down.

I hated seeing my face with brown marks all over my cheeks. It reminded me of all those times I was bullied because of these nasty scars.

Binilisan kong maghilamos at magpalit ng damit. Hindi naman kami required mag-uniform sa college namin so, I chose a basic white cropped top, pleated mini black skirt and white sneakers today.

"Sure ka na ba diyan sa outfit mo, Ballerine?" I heard a voice judging my fit.

Tinignan ko ulit ang sarili ko sa salamin. My legs were exposed, and damn, they looked juicy and fat like sausages.

Agad akong naghanap ng black stockings para hindi masyadong kita ang korte ng legs ko. After putting it on, I looked at myself again.

"There. That looks better."

"But, still, kailangan mong mag-ingat sa diet mo, Ballerine."

Ignoring those voices, I sat down in front of my dresser and started to do some magic on my face. Concealer and foundation were my best friends since then. I was self-taught. Okay, maybe Youtube helped a bit.

Half an hour later, nang satisfied na ako sa makeup ko, bumaba na rin ako para magtungo sa kusina. "Good morning, Bal," bati ni Yaya Nelly na nagluluto ng breakfast.

"Good morning, ya," I greeted back, sitting in front of the counter.

"Ballerine, did you stay up late?" The voice of my mom broke my composure. Turning to her, I saw her sitting on the far end of the dining table, scrolling through her iPad like usual.

"No, mom," agad kong sambit habang naglalakad patungo sa table at umupo sa kabilang side kaharap siya.

"Then, why are you late for breakfast?" Seryosong tanong ni mom habang nakatingin sa akin.

I glanced at the time on my phone. 6:40 am. Late ako ng ten minutes dahil sa pagme-makeup ko. But of course, my mom wouldn't accept that excuse.

"Sorry mom," I quickly mumbled, looking down my lap.

"Your sister has been waiting for us. You know how important time is," mom reminded me, pressing something on her iPad.

"Hey, mom! How are you?" My older sister's voice echoed inside the room through mom's iPad.

"Brianna, sweetie, I'm okay. Have you had dinner?" Nag-iba ang tono ng boses ni mom. I was used to it. Kahit na hindi niya sabihin, I knew I wasn't her favorite... my sister was.

"Is Bal there? How is she?" My sister asked, catching my attention.

"Yes, she's here. She's okay," mom answered for me, not even looking at my direction. Her eyes were all on the iPad.

Tahimik lang akong nakikinig sa conversation nila. Hindi man lang ako pinapansin ni mom kahit na ako ang kaharap niya.

It was like, I was there, but I wasn't really there.

"Bal, kumain ka na," napatingin ako kay Yaya Nelly na nakatayo na pala sa tabi ko.

Inabutan niya ako ng isang baso ng green smoothie na lagi kong iniinom sa umaga. I used to hate it because it was an odd mixture of avocado, cucumber, spinach and kale. Pero dahil na rin sa influence ni mom, I grew to like it.