Liar, Liar, the Mage's Desire Vol. 3 (Return of the Oumeno)

The Mage, The Jester, and The Meanie Queen (6)

     Kokichi, Himiko Red, and King Hirocules rode all the way to the kingdom of Nidaiacus. King Hirocules was having issues controlling his horse, Little Boy Glue, and was constantly falling off. 

    "Are we, like, there, yet, dudes?" he asked, his voice shaky from the ride. 

   "Yup! King Nekomaris's castle is straight ahead!" Kokichi called back. They soon made it to the castle's entrance, where two guards stood, just like at King Hirocules's castle. 

   "Who dares to enter the domain of King Nekomaris?" asked one of the guards in a very dramatic voice. 

   "We dare," Kokichi replied, grinning impishly. "A jester and a mage!"

   "Pah! You have come here to wreak havoc with your infernal puns and dark magic, have you?" the guard asked. "Well, nothing gets by me, Sir Gundhamonium, the bringer of pandemonium-ah! The one who has slain the mighty dragon, and saved this puny village from utter destruction!"

   "You didn't slay him," the other guard said, scratching her head in confusion. "I thought you kept him as a pet cuz you like animals so much."

   "G-Ggrr...silence, loquacious woman!" Sir Gundhamonium growled, thrusting his finger in his fellow guard's face. "I may not have slain the dragon, but I have indeed tamed that foul beast, a feat which no one else but me has accomplished!"

   "Yeah, yeah, whatever," the female guard sighed. "Hey, you guys got any food, or somethin?' I'm starvin' over here!"

    "Nope! Sorry," Kokichi answered. 

    "Then what're ya here for?" the guard asked testily. 

    "We brought King Hirocules with us to give King Nekomaris some urgent news," Kokichi replied. "Riiight, King Hirocules?" King Hirocules fell off his horse again.

   "Dude...that hurts like heck, man!" he groaned, rubbing his bottom. "Er...yeah! We gotta tell your king dude something important, and we gotta do it, like, right now!"

   "Well, I suppose if it is urgent, Akanesela and I can allow you in," Sir Gundhamonium muttered. "But, let it be known to you that if you so dare unleash your foolishness upon our kingdom, I, Sir Gundhamonium, the bringer of pandemonium, will smite you where you stand!"

   "Okie-dokie! We'll keep that in mind," Kokichi assured with a cheeky grin. Sir Gundhamonium and Akanesela stepped aside and permitted Kokichi, Himiko Red, and King Hirocules to enter. The three dismounted their horses and stepped inside the castle. King Hirocules wrapped his arms around Kokichi and Himiko Red's shoulders. 

   "I seriously hope there aren't any ghosts in here," he mumbled fearfully. They made it to King Nekomaris's throne room, but King Nekomaris wasn't anywhere to be found. 

   "Nyeh...where is he?" Himiko Red asked, looking around the large room.