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The Council of Gods - Detailed Feedback

Lastly, I mentioned it with the last story I reviewed, and I'll mention it here too: thank you for consistently using UK English instead of switching between US and UK English. I've seen a lot of authors use both, so I appreciate how you used UK English only.

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What Didn't Work:

I understand this is a short story, but the first chapter has a lot of exposition that makes it hard to focus on what's going on. We got an entire prologue of exposition, then even more in the first chapter, which was a bit much. For future stories, I would suggest spacing out how much information you give the reader all at once and trying to find new ways to give exposition.

For example, maybe try giving exposition through dialogue. Maybe instead of telling us what Aries did, show it through dialogue when Gemini and him interact for the first time. There are plenty of ways to make exposition more engaging, so I'd suggest playing around with it and finding what works for you!

There are tense issues where the text flips between past and present tense incorrectly. You are writing in past tense, so present tense should be used very rarely, like in direct, italicized character thoughts.

For future stories, I would suggest giving the male and female leads more time to bond and grow. Aries and Gemini are interesting as individuals, but I didn't really buy their romance since they didn't have many growing moments together. For example, the restaurant scene could have been fleshed out more so we could learn more about these two and why they care for each other.

While on the topic, there were a few moments that could have been traded for more development between Gemini and Aries. Chapter 2 is a primary example. I don't recall Leo and Aquarius' relationship having any impact on the plot. Since it happens so early in the story and doesn't come up again later, it hurts the pacing a lot and could have been replaced by Aries and Gemini interacting.

It's a short story, so filler moments like that really stand out and hurt the pacing. For future short stories, I'd recommend keeping the filler to a minimum.

In general, I would suggest spending more time with the characters. There are a bunch of them, so I would recommend fleshing out their relationships more, especially the relationship between Virgo and Gemini, and Aries and Gemini as they are super important. I like the gods and all the characters, I would just like to see more of who they are, if that makes sense.

The description in the story is okay as is, but I would recommend adding a bit more personality to the emotions and how the world is fleshed out. I would suggest focusing your descriptions in other areas. Things like their outfits and appearance are always fleshed out, but giving more description to their faces during conversations, their body language, how their voice sounds, etc. could benefit the audience since we'll get to see more of their emotions during the scenes.

Especially during character interactions, I would suggest tightening the dialogue by including more expressions of movement and giving the audience more time to linger in the moment and gain a better understanding of the main characters.

For example, during the restaurant scene there's a moment where Gemini eats her food in slow motion, but it isn't described. When Aries says "When I said slow down, I didn't mean eat in slow-mo," it feels a bit out of place because we had no idea Gemini was eating in slow motion. The only cues we got were that she slowed down and she had a brilliant idea. I would suggest giving just a few more words to set up Aries' line and show us she's eating in slow motion instead of relying on the dialogue to tell us.

That's more of a nitpick so it's not a huge deal, it just felt a bit out of place when I read Aries' line because I didn't recall the slow-mo eating being shown.

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Summary:

- Interesting personalities for the zodiac signs

- Fun plot

- Aries and Gemini have a great backstory together

- Aries is an interesting character

- Easy to read despite the world being unfamiliar to the audience

- Theme that fits well with the story

- Consider using less exposition in the beginning

- Some grammar errors (tense issues)

- Consider giving the male and female leads more time to bond

- Consider including more description of character expressions, body language, etc.

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Overall:

The Council of Gods is an engaging zodiac narrative with plenty of characters to grow to enjoy over the course of the story. It's an easy read with only 15 chapters plus an epilogue and bonus wedding chapter. If you're looking for an entertaining book that follows the zodiac signs in a unique world, then I would recommend reading this!

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Thank you for submitting your story. I haven't read many zodiac books, and even less on Wattpad, so this was a nice change of pace. It was an entertaining read and I enjoyed the overall concept and plot of the book.

I know you've confirmed you're writing a sequel, but I don't know if it's out yet. I hope you do write it if you aren't already since this book has a huge world with limitless plot opportunities I think you should explore.

I'm excited to see what you do next with it, and I hope you keep writing since this was a great read. 

Please let me know if you have any questions or need any further reviews!