How to Survive a Supervillain Attack

Wednesday, March 18: Done

The morning is too happy for the pile of nerves fizzling inside me. Birds chirp. The sun is sprinkled with clouds (What? I like shade.). Even the early morning traffic next to me sounds happy. 

The cars are too loud. I miss the silence of my extra early mornings, but waking up early is not for me. Sleep is important, kids.

The farther I go, the thicker the traffic gets. Happy commuters are replaced with disgruntled passengers trying to get to work on time. On top of the normal traffic noises, I pick up the sound of sirens and honking and shouting. Looking ahead, I see the cars are being put through a detour. I can't yet see why.

I hate getting closer to trouble, but an alternate route is still a few blocks forward.

I bike slower now, keeping my eyes open for any suspicious activity. My eyes trail to a circle of police cars surrounding what looks to be a crater in the ground. I reach the alternate route before I can get a better look. Fine by me.

At work, everyone has already heard about the crater. The police still don't know where it came from, and the news tries all day to comb through the evidence to find the answer first. I focus on my work and pretend that I'm not disappointed by the end of my peaceful bike ride streak.

"What do you think?" asks Jina, peeking over the wall that separates us.

"What do I think about what?" Only a fourth of my brain has been focused on the overhead conversation between Jina and Aaron (Really, can't they go somewhere else?). The other three-fourths is on the difficult loophole in one of our robot designs.

"The crater. I think it is aliens, and Aaron thinks it is a secret government airplane."

"Air base," Aaron corrects. "A secret government airbase that crashed into earth and that they're trying to cover up."

"I think that whatever it is, I want nothing to do with it," I say.

"Oh, come on Ruby," Aaron whines. "You've got to have some theories. Your brain is always working."

"I haven't thought much about it." That is a lie. I've been worrying about it all day.

They can tell too. "Come on," Jina says. "Tell us! Please?" Why does she have such adorable puppy eyes? I have never been able to achieve such a look.

I sigh. "From the pictures, it looks more like a cave-in than a crash since the dirt and road isn't packed in or displaced. I think there was some sort of secret government or villain project going on under there and a car passing over it was enough to make it collapse."

Aaron grins. "See? An always working brain! That's a brilliant theory!"

Jina's head disappears for a while and then pokes back over. "It does look like a collapse! A very circular collapse."

"For a very circular room?" Aaron muses. "I wonder what could have been down there..." Thus another discussion begins as I turn back to my work.

At lunch, Jina accompanies me to the little food shop. "I'll be fine," I tell her. "I've walked to this place hundreds of times without getting robbed."

"I know. I liked the meal I got." She smiles so innocently that I mostly believe her. Mostly.

She grabs herself some noodles (which I instantly shy away from), and I grab a yogurt parfait. We finish paying, and I reluctantly part ways with her.

Lucifugus isn't at the door of the shop, but I don't let that fool me. I carefully keep my face covered as I unlock the door and put on my Samantha gear. Lucifugus still isn't waiting outside for me when I switch the "Closed" sign to "Open." I have a feeling he is waiting.

Sure enough, ten minutes into my shift, he walks through the door.

"You were following me last night." I try to keep my anger in check. This whole situation is bringing back too many painful memories.

"Oh. That explains why I lost you."

I snort. "No 'Sorry?' No 'That wasn't me?' No 'It was just to keep you safe?' You could at least try to make it seem like you aren't a stalker."

"Woah, a stalker?" He seems surprised by this accusation. "Don't you think that's extreme?"

"No. No I don't." How could I? "I told you to stop trying to protect me, AND INSTEAD YOU FOLLOW ME TO MY HOUSE."

"I was just making sure..."

"When will you get it through your thick skull that I don't want help? You're doing this against my wishes, and now I'm looking over my shoulder every day trying to make sure you are not following me. Do you not understand how creepy this is to me?"

"Maybe if I were a villain. But I'm a superhero. I'm a Gladiator."

I stare at him slack-jawed. He doesn't understand. He thinks that this is normal behavior. I shake my head. Why am I the only sane one in this city? "If you don't stop coming to see me, following me, and staring at my shop all day, I'm quitting this lousy job." I should have switched identities long ago. This has become too dangerous for me.

"But you love this job." What does he know? "You love helping people."

"It's not worth the baggage." Too bad he doesn't know I'll keep my job either way. Oh wait, no, it's not too bad.

"Fine!" He exclaims. "Fine, I'll leave." He raises his hands and heads out the door. I peek out the window and see him watching the shop from a shaded rooftop. I sigh. Well, I was planning on switching identities anyway.

Absentmindedly, I return to my desk and scribble on a sticky note in cursive. "As of today, I am formally turning in my resignation for this job. Sorry for any inconvenience."

I write back to myself in big, bold letters. "NO WORRIES. WE HAVE MANY EMPLOYEES LINED UP TO TAKE YOUR PLACE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE."

I smile and go to the backroom to take out a short black wig, green contact lenses, and a whole bunch of makeup for tomorrow.

To ditch Lucifugus, I go into the girl's bathroom, spray paint my bike a different color, change clothes, and put on lots of sharp makeup. When I come back out, Lucifugus completely ignores me as I blabber to a nonexistent person on my phone. I get home without a single shadow on my tail.