The Roommate

Chapter 12

For superfruitatonix

"Scott-" Scott closed the door to his bedroom before I could speak to him. I sat out in the living room for two hours waiting for him to come home. I went to his door, sliding down with my back against it. I turned so I had my ear pressed against the surface. I heard that Scott was doing the same thing. "Please talk to me."

"Why should I?" His voice sounded bitter.

"Because I miss talking to you. If I knew that this was going to happen, I wouldn't have agreed to that stupid deal." I could feel myself tearing up slightly. "It feels cold in this place when you aren't talking to me. I miss joking with you. I miss you teasing and flirting with me."

"We're just roommates. It doesn't mean we have to talk. I paid for this month of the rent but I won't be here for the next."

"You're moving out?" My hands went desperately to hold the door where I thought he would be.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of pretending I don't want to be near you. I miss you in my bed." I couldn't speak. My voice was caught in my throat. The words he used made every time we spent together just mean sex. But the tone behind it meant something completely different. It made me think of what Kirstie said.

"So you're just going to leave?"

"I've given you a month to find a new roommate. Figure it out from there." I heard him get up from the ground. Then, just to spite me, he turned his music up until it was blaring. I went back to my homework on the living room couch. But I couldn't concentrate. The music was making me get a headache. I went to his door after awhile and began banging on it with my first.

"Please, Scott! Shut it off!" I don't know if he could hear me over the music. I continued to hit the door. "Scott! Please! Turn it-" He opened the door and before I could react, he pulled me into a kiss. The music was still playing and my heartbeat had matched up with the song's as it was pounding furiously. The kiss couldn't have lasted more then a couple of seconds before Scott broke it to do what I asked.

"Happy?" His voice was quiet compared to the sound that once filled my ears. I was caught off by his tone though. It sounded so rude. He's never used that tone with me before.

"Happy? Are you happy?"

"Filled with fucking glee." He rolled his eyes and slammed the door shut. I was defeated. Everything about me scream to apologize in the only way that he wanted. But I didn't like him that way. He was my roommate. My friend. Making him my boyfriend would make me barf. I wasn't going to throw love around like it was something I could just give away. The first time I've ever used that word outside my family was with Ronnie. That was after a whole year of dating. Kirstie I considered to be my family so she doesn't really count.

"I got you some food." I was leaning against his door again. "It's Chinese food." He opened the door. I jumped back.

"Give it."

"No." He seemed surprised. And irritated but that was besides the point. "You have to eat with me." He took a step closer.

"I don't have to do anything."

"But you want to. Please, Scott." His eyes narrowed. I shifted my weight between my feet. I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Let's get this over with." We were both sitting on the couch with our food in to-go boxes and a movie playing in the background. He was eating silently and I was quietly staring at him. I was trying to speak. I couldn't seem to find the words though. I opened my mouth to talk. "Don't speak." His voice cut me off.

"Are you really going to leave?" He didn't respond for awhile. He just ate. I hated this. He was pretending I wasn't here. And I was pretending he was the only thing here. It's a reverse of when we first started living together.

"It will be better, you know? Then you don't have to pretend to like me just for sex."

"I never meant it that way!" I sat up on my knees. I set my food down before grabbing his shoulders. "I never pretended to like you. You were my friend. And I do like you. Just not in the way you want me to." He brushed my hands off his shoulders.

"Let's just not do this. I'm not staying." I fell back on the couch with a loud huff.

"Whatever." I mumbled it to myself. Scott got up after that and went back to his room. There was no music playing. The only sound was the TV playing the movie we payed no attention to the whole time we were out here. I grabbed the pillow I wasn't using and cuddled it like I would Scott. I missed him and he was right in the next room.

"What are you still doing out here?" Scott's voice broke me out of my deep sleep. But it was still hazy. I was drifting in and out of conscious. I also couldn't force my eyes open. "Let's get you to bed." One arm went under my knees while the other wrapped around my torso. Then he lifted me up. My arms automatically wrapped around his neck. He moved one of his hands to readjust my head on his shoulder. Then he returned his hands and began walking. I felt my soft bed as he lowered me down.

"Scott?" My voice came out as a quiet whisper.

"Go to sleep, Mitch."

"Don't leave me." I grabbed the air before I met his arm. I tugged on it until he crawled into bed with me. He left in the middle of the night.

But not before giving me a short kiss on the forehead.