The Princess of Elfhame

I'm not worth saving

A/N: I'm finally back! I know that was a long stretch, but that *shouldn't* happen again. And because you're all wonderful human beings for being amazingly patient, here's a long-ass chapter for you. Note: this will take place over SEVERAL days instead of normally just a short scene instead ;). 

Cassian 

When I run into Rhea the next morning, something is clearly bothering her. 

And I don't just mean something in the way of how she'd been clutching a handful of letters while she sat on her bed when I came into her room, but how she's silent now as I help her down the stairs of the palace. 

"Rhea? Is there something on your mind?" I ask quietly and she's silent before she says hushedly, "My father's going to get my mother killed," to which I freeze at even while we continue walking down the stairs. 

"What do you mean?" I ask and she sighs. 

"There's this... fairytale about Queen Mab's consort. He was a human and he had died when he was sixty years old. It's said that Queen Mab's wail shook the very earth itself from her grief. But she had wanted to find a cure to cure her husband of age. To live as long as she would have. And I think my father's going to try the same thing on my mother. If he tries this, it could kill my mother. And I don't think he's thinking reasonably. I'm afraid that he's going insane like my uncle and that I could lose my entire family." 

Rhea's breath is quickening and tiny shivers vibrate across her entire body. 

She's having a panic attack. 

I help her to sit down in a small alcove within the nooks and crannies of the palace as she starts gasping for breath and I grab onto her hands. 

"Rhea, look at me," I say softly, "look at me." 

She finally looks at me after a few long and torturous seconds and I rub my thumb over her knuckles. 

"Just breathe. Your father is not going insane. He just doesn't want to lose your mother. Any husband wouldn't want to lose the woman they love. And your father is a genius. If he could find the cure of something that could save your mother using elven techniques, then he might be able to pull it off." 

Rhea's eyes visibly sharpen and she stills before she says hollowly, "elven techniques?" 

Fuck.

Fuck. 

"Why would he use elven techniques? He doesn't even know how it... works... Cassian, if you haven't been true the entire time I've known you, you need to be completely transparent with me. Right. Now," she demands, and her entire face and aura has changed. 

She's sharper and colder, and her eyes don't radiate warmth. 

They radiate rage. 

I sigh. "Yes. Your father wanted to research different ways to save your mother and asked me to help him find some solution that could expand the lifespan of your mother. He said that he would personally see to it that I would go home sooner if I did-" 

"So you did this out of spite because you were forced to stay here and train with me," she snaps and I close my eyes.

 "No. This was before I started seeing who you truly were, Rhea. That's before I knew what we were. Yes, when he approached me with the offer I took it because I was angry at you, but you know that after these past few weeks, I want nothing more than to stay here." 

"Liar," she says coldly, and she flinches when I try to squeeze her hands, receding. 

She starts laughing humorlessly and she shakes her head.