The Football Girl

Chapter 9: Not my problem

When I wake up I heard punching noises? I slowly open my eyes to see Brandon, Levi, Drake, and Little Jon playing a video game. 

"Good morning." I look up at Ashton. 

"Good morning." He smiles at me. 

"Not that I don't want to stay here, I have to take a leak." I nod at him and get up off of him. He gets up and heads for the bathroom. I come behind Little Jon. I pick him up and sit him in my lap.

"Sissy! Can you help me? Their cheating!" says Little Jon.

"No we are not! Drake might be! But I am not!" says Brandon. Drake slaps Brandon on the back of the head. I chuckle at them and get up. I walk up the stairs to my room. I start to change when I look on my calendar. Today was the day mom had died. Tears start in my eyes. I get up and take a shower. I wanted to look my best when I went to go see her. After taking my shower, I put on some jeans and her shirt. It was a long sleeve flannel plaid shirt. Then I put my hair in a messy bun. I put water proof mascara.  I walked out my door prepared to leave when I run into Ashton. 

"There you are. Where are you going." He looks at my outfit then it clicks. "Today is her day isn't it?" I nod at him. "Oh babe, I'm sorry. You going to see her?" I nod at him again. Then he looks at me and nods. Every time the day comes by I go visit her grave stay there for several hours then I go to the restaurant we use to go to. Then I go to the lake and sit there. I grab some blankets and pillows and go downstairs. I know my dad is gone. He usually visits my mom's parents to comfort and deal with them. Then he goes to a liquor store and gets some beer and goes in his bedroom and drinks. Little Jon doesn't remember this day since he was just a baby. I grab my keys and walk out the door. 

"Alex! Wait!" I turn around to see all the guys standing there.

"We wanted to know if you need anything we will be here. Don't worry we got Little Jon for you." I nod at them, then I head towards the graveyard. When I get there, some people are visiting their loved ones. I drive past them and go towards the back of the graveyard. When I get there I see her headstone. It was oval with her name and date she died. There was a picture of our family on it. I put my blanket on the ground and sit down. 

"Hey mom, it's been awhile. Sorry I haven't been out here lately, I've been busy. Well dad is doing pretty good. He still won't look at any women. He invited the whole football team over. Yeah, it was nice to have the house filled with noise. Little Jon is doing better I guess. He had to go to the hospital awhile ago. He is in kindergarten. The cancer is still there. Well I guess you want to know about me. I decided not to do volleyball this year, I tried out for football. You will never guess mom, I'm quarterback!  Yeah it's nice. I can throw pretty far. Most of the guys have given me a chance. Earlier this month Drake said he had feelings for me. I denied him, then we got into a huge argument about it. You probably saw it all. Now I'm dating Ashton, mom he is so sweet to me. He knows what to do and when to do it. He is an amazing guy. I really like him. Mom, I'm going to let you know I am so sorry for that night. I didn't mean to say anything. It just slipped out.  Everyday it's harder for me. I hate that I had to say something. If I didn't say anything at all you would still be here. It's all my fault. The guy is still in prison. The nightmares keep coming back. Maybe that's the price I have to pay for causing all this. I deserve everything that bad happens. I'm sorry mom. I really am. Only if I had one more day to spend with you." I say with tears flowing down my face. I don't bother wiping them.  "I can now fit in your old clothes.  There comfortable, they still smell like you. I miss you mom. It's not the same, when I see little girls or girls my age with their moms my heart breaks. When I see girls with their moms shopping having fun, or having little dates. It breaks me mom, it really does. I hate knowing that I can't go home to see you there at the table reading. Where do I go for advice with guys, girl stuff, or just need some advice on life? I can't go to dad about it he doesn't know any of that stuff. I can't go to one of the guys moms. It's hard to deal with this. I'm not blaming you for this.  It's just why can't I have a female in my life that helps me. You know what happened to my last female friend. Why can't I have a female in my life to help me?" I look at the sky. My tears keep flowing. I spent another hour there then I left.  When I got in the car I looked in the mirror. My eyes were read and puffy. I go to mom's and my restaurant. When I get in there the elderly waitress named Flo. She smiled at me. I came in there a lot by myself. 

"Hey honey, today is the day isn't it?" I nod at her. "Want your usual?" I smile, then I sit down in my booth. I look around the restaurant, just the normal's were in today. I look on my phone, looking through all my pictures. I see one of my mom holding me and tickling me. I smile at my phone. Then my food arrives. It was chicken strips and french fries. With ranch and barbecue sauce. I eat slowly, enjoying my food. When I finish I get up and pay my bill. 

"See ya later sweetie."

"Bye Flo." I get in my car and head for the lake. When I arrive at the lake my usual spot is open. Not many families were there. I get out of my car and grab the blankets and pillows. My spot was on a hill hidden by some trees. But I could see everyone else. After putting my blankets down I put my pillows in a row. I lay down and look at the sky. I start to think about the good times I had with my mom. After thinking about that I start to realize something. My dad hasn't been really happy after she died. It's my fault he will never be truly happy. Then my tears came back. I'm the reason Little Jon won't ever have a mom. The sun was setting by the time I was leaving. I took my time getting home I knew my dad wouldn't be back for awhile. All the guys were still there. When I walked in I saw Drake, Brandon, Levi and Ashton. They all looked at me. My eyes were still puffy. 

"W-Where's Little Jon?"

"He fell asleep so we put him to bed." says Ashton. 

"Well I'm going to my room, I don't care what you do." Then I walk up to my room. I change into Ashton's shirt and sweatpants. Then I hear a knock on my door. 

"Come in." It was Ashton. 

"How are you doing?" 

"Not good. It's all my fault. I'm the reason she is gone. I'm the reason my dad will never be truly happy. I'm the reason Little Jon won't have a mom. If only I just kept my stupid mouth shut she  would be here. All the horrible things that happen to me is because I deserve it." I say with tears flowing. Ashton wraps me in his arms. 

"Shh no baby girl, not at all. It's not your fault. You were small, just wrong place wrong time. It's not like you planned it all out." He puts me in my bed and tucks me in. 

"Get some sleep baby." Then he kisses my forehead. I fall asleep shortly. 

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Hey! Well this was a sad chapter :( I tried to keep in the tears when I was writing this! I haven't been through losing my parents but I have lost a loved one! Well this was an emotional time for Alex. Tell me what you think!