Lost In The Darkness {Edited}

Chapter~21

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 Vanessa's POV:

Purr.

The small feline coiled her little body purring and resting on my chest. The small noise that was exuding out of Whiskey, weirdly, gave me a sense of comfort I never knew I needed. It might be dramatic, but the presence itself of the sleek creature was soothing.

Last night, my body was so tired and stiff that when Dante drove us back here, I just had to hit the bed and sleep. But I couldn't exactly give in to my fantasy because I stank of alcohol and had to freshen up before getting in the bed with Whiskey. 

Thankfully, my baby was well fed by Lorenzo who claims he hate her. But that doesn't explain why he was cuddling the very same being he hates when we got back. 

I yawned, scratching Whiskey's head. 

"It is time to wake up, but you are making me feel lazy, lil dude." I whispered, yawning again.

"Fuck it, I am going back to sleep." I muttered, closing my eyes. The illusion that I can fall asleep again weighed more in my mind than accepting that I can't fall asleep again. I might be feeling sleepy, but that was just that. With my insomnia, a 3-hour long sleep without any disruption is a blessing for me.

Hence, why I claim that I am in a toxic relationship with this thing called sleep. Only in death, I can hope, that I will sleep peacefully. But, unless and until death doesn't approach me, I will have to suffer.

"Vanessa?" I heard my name being called by Dante? Or is it Nic? 

Since my brain is defunct at the moment, thanks to my drowsiness, I realize I will have to just find out. 

"What?" I yelled back, which whoever it was took as a sign to invade my room. 

"Did you forget that you were going to have a university tour today? Damn that if you did, first drink this. It will help you with your hangover." Dante fussed. 

"The tour was today? It slipped my mind." I covered my mouth with the back of my hand as another yawn broke out. 

"Here, drink this." Before I had a chance to question what he was trying to make me consume, he brought it to my mouth and tilted the cup. To avoid the liquid from falling down, I swallowed the damn thing which tasted as bad as chewing cloves. 

"What the fuck Dante?" I scowled at him, while he just shrugged his shoulders.

"How about we avoid cursing like a sailor for one day? That sounds bloody fantastic, right?" He chirped, placing the empty cup on my nightstand.

"I don't know about that, but I am fucking certain that you have lost your bloody mind. What is with your weird and let me say it again, bizarre behavior?  Did you snort some coke off a hooker or what?" I snapped, getting out of my bed while trying not to disrupt Whiskey's nap.

"Are you implying that all the hookers are coke-head?" He pressed and fucking hell, what the hell happened to him?

"It is meth head for your information, and I think you need to, no, you must visit a doctor and get an MRI without wasting a minute." I suggested, trying to push the mountain of a man outside the room. 

"You do realize you can just ask me to leave instead of trying to throw me out, which I must point out you are failing really badly at?" 

"You know what, get out and eat crap." Closing the door on his face, I sighed.

'I thought you were going to keep a distance from them.' The Psycho mocked, making me frown.

'That is what I am doing though, so what are you trying to say?' I asked.

'Just reminisce the past few minutes and you will get me.' She smirked, disappearing into the darkness again.

And just as she said, I traced back the event from the last ten minutes and realization dawned on me. I was having a conversation with Dante in the morning, and I did not even mind it. The conversation felt normal, and I was okay with it. What the hell is wrong with me? 

It has hardly been a week or two and I am getting used to him. To them. Fuck. I need to keep myself reminding that I should not get used to their presence. That I must not care for them because in the end, everything I care for, falls apart. Every fucking time, they get succumbed by the evil of this world. The evil residing inside of me.

I already carry the loss with myself every day. A loss that only I am to be blamed for. All I know is that if I start caring, if I let them in, the loss will weigh me down and I won't keep standing. Because I am using them. I am here only to succeed, to avenge myself, and those like me. 

My sole aim is to bring the mafia world to their knees in front of me for what I and so many of us suffered. The women, the children and the made-men who wanted anything but to be that, we are the real victims. The one who actually suffers in this cruel and blood tainted suffocating grip of the mafia.

The grip that squeezes our throats and make it hard for us to breathe the air, the nightmare free dreams we see. It kills us. 

In my case, it already killed me. And I am one of those who arose from the dead to kill it back. We will destroy it to shred, and everyone will watch it but won't be able to do shit.

Shaking myself out from the zone I was slowly slipping in to, I walked to the bathroom. While I was freshening up, my mind keeps drifting to my thoughts where I was critiquing my behavior and teaching myself again how to act, how to behave, and what to do. 

I had believed that it would be a piece of cake to live with my new family because I didn't have a heart where they could shove their places into, but now when I say it again, it feels like a lie.

A lie I so desperately want to be the truth.

'It is the truth'. For the unkempt time, I convinced myself.

"Let's go, Whiskey. It is breakfast time." I kissed him on his head, as he meowed in response and followed me, descending downstairs on his small paws.

The only one that matters to me, and it should stay that way. I will make sure of it.

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A/N: LOOOOK, who is hereeeee? Meeeee

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