12th of November 2023 🥀
"- born May 30th. Lived in a single parent home all my life with my four siblings. I guess I could say that for all my life I didn't really know what I was missing..." Olivia says, looking intently at her hands on her lap.
"...you know not having a father. Until I did know and I guess that's when it started to hurt.Seeing my friends having father's that were funny, kind and had special nicknames for them like pumpkin. Suddenly I wanted someone to call me pumpkin."
"I get it, pumpkin." I muse, trying to be funny but she sees right into my red eyes.
It's early Sunday morning. The sun at its peak shining through the clouds and we're sitting outside Dominique's home on the steps.
I asked Olivia to come here so we could do Question 11 but it's clear that I'm stalling going home.
" It hurts to want someone who doesn't want you. Who never wanted you. Especially when that someone is your parent" she says,her words cutting deep.
"It makes some part of you so...so..."she wracks her brain for the right words, frustrated.
"So angry." she finishes, and for the first time this morning I meet her eyes.
"Anyway my life isn't wrapped up around not having a Father. I never want it to be that way. I don't want to be some statistic about girls who don't have fathers and how they end up being insecure promiscuous women who hate men. That's not me."she huffs,a weight lifted off her shoulders.
"I've had the best friends in my life and I still cherish them to this day. That's why losing them is so painful but I have Alicia now. I joined the Choir in 4th grade and that's where I fell in love with music. I joined Skirmish in grade five and that's where I fell in love with stories. I didn't know it at the time but those were the best moments of my life. After that it all went downhill..."
"Highschool?"I ask, a brow raised.
"Highschool." she concurs, chuckling.
"I fell into a deep depression. Fell out of love with everything and read just to escape but when the book would end- I'd feel so empty inside. I wanted to die..."
My hand instinctively reaches for hers, and I just hold it, squeezing gently.
"I wanted to die every day for the three years of my life. Then I found God and he gave me the will to live. He opened my heart to love again. I read because I love reading not to escape anymore and I sing because it makes me feel alive but my dream is actually to become a chef."
Olivia starts laughing from the gobsmacked look I have on my face.
"A chef-wow I wouldn't have guessed it!"
She laughs, a glimmer in her eyes.
"Wait, look at me." I take a good look at her face, imagining that chef's hat on it.
"Yeah you're gonna be a beautiful chef and from last Sunday's meal I know that your food is really good. Mkhulu still asks for you to come by one day and make more of that mash."
She smiles, but I can't enjoy it because mentioning Mkhulu just brought up so many emotions in me....
"Anyway so now I'm here about to finish the hell called highschool so next year I'll be in culinary school and after that open up my restaurant."
"You forgot to mention falling in love with a handsome boy."
She laughs.
"That too."
YOU ARE READING
36 Questions to Fall in Love...in 36 days!
Romance" Olivia, I liked you from the moment you hiccuped your way into my life. It's funny really but it's the truth. I also wasted a lot of time and this is me trying to fix things. I'm asking you to give me 36 days to show my love for you and for you to...
