Envison (Camren)

Chapter Three

While my eyes stayed locked with Lauren's, my right hand searched for the door handle behind me. It was noiseless in the classroom, so silent you could hear the paper in my left palm crinkle as soon as the words left her mouth.

I couldn't tell if I was embarrassed or shocked. Probably both, honestly. I didn't know what to say, I never gave it much thought to be honest. I wasn't one hundred percent sure with my sexuality. Nobody has ever asked me that question, so I never really thought about it until now. I always liked who I liked. For all the four years that I've been in high school, I haven't had a boyfriend, or a crush on a guy really. Was I gay?

The coldness of the door handle met my sweaty, warm hand and I pushed it eagerly. I left without answering her question.

The walk to second period was nerve racking. I had been so caught off guard and frankly, I didn't want to think about the question any longer. I arrived a few minutes late, which earned stares from the class and one very intimidating glare from my history teacher. Making my way through the filled desks of students, I felt the gazes of the other teenagers. When I got to him, I handed him the note Ms. Jauregui had written me and quickly took my seat, the only empty one. My eyes scanned the classroom, trying to find a familiar face to talk to to and get my mind off of things. The only person I recognized was Normani. She already made this day fucking suck so talking to her was not on my list of things to do.

-
"Normani, can we talk?" I breathed out, not meeting my best friend's eyes.

"That depends, what do you wanna talk about?" Worry exhibited in her voice, she sat me down on her bed after I just barged into her room unexplained. It wasn't unusual that I did that. She was my best friend since first grade, we've been attached at the hip ever since.

"It's about Blake, please listen to me before you say anything," I finally met her gaze, looking at her only made me feel more guilty even though I didn't do anything. "I was walking to homeroom this morning and Blake had his arms around some other girl. They were at his locker and his arms were just like, wrapped around her waist. I stuck around to see what was up, without trying to be suspicious or noticeable. After some time of what looked like flirting, he kissed her. Or she kissed him. I don't know but they kissed." I felt my stomach drop, it pained me a bit to know that Normani was going to be hurt. It was better to tell her now before she got too invested in him, right?

"What the hell? Are you kidding me?" she scoffed, springing off her bed and onto to her feet.

"I'm sorry Normani, I really am." I copied her actions and placed my hand on her arm, expecting her to break into tears any moment.

"Save it. How could you make something like this up? Are you trying to make me break up with him so you can have him? Dont think I haven't seen the way you look at him. Well I need you to get it through your head, he's mine. I trusted you, you backstabbing bitch," the girl grabbed hold of my shoulders and shoved me. What the hell was going on?

"Woah, Mani. Don't shoot the messenger. I didn't make that up and I don't want him. You're fucking insane." I yelled at her. "I told you because I knew that you would get hurt in the long run. I'm helping you!"

"Maybe it's not him you want then, maybe you're trying to get with me. I always pegged you as the gay type, Cabello." she laughed. I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

"I fucking knew you were a dyke. Get out of my room," she pushed me towards the door.

"Mani," Urging to stay, I desperately searched for the right words to say, "Can you listen to me!"

"I said leave."
-
I slumped down in my desk, a lump caught in my throat when the memory of my former best friend raced through my mind. I decided to try and think about something else. I picked up my pen and flipped to a blank page in my notebook, not bothering to listen to what my new history teacher, Mr. Parker, was saying about the way things would run this year. I began to doodle, the small pen marks started to come to life and soon a face was formed. The black ink on the white paper, contrasted to make the drawing more eye catching. Scratches turned to lines, and the lines turned to facial features. The girl on the paper was existing through the scribbles. Her eyes were big and bright, and her lips were plump and round. I stared at it for awhile, realizing the face was vaguely familiar. I studied the pen marks and concluded that the recognizable portrait was Lauren.