Envison (Camren)

Chapter One

"Mija, did you take your pills?" I hear my mom yell from the kitchen as I'm putting on my shoes to walk out the door.

"Yes, I did," I shout back fumbling with the laces in my hands. "Shit," I mumbled. This was such an easy task, I'm sure no one else had this much trouble. Hell even my six year old sister had a better grip at tying her shoes than I did. I made two sloppy bunny ears and pulled them together as tight as I could.

"Maybe we should invest in Velcro," my mom laughed, walking past me and grabbing her keys from the counter.

"Yeah, I'm sure that'll catch on around school," I gave her a soft smile and slung my backpack over my shoulder.

Rushing out the door, I sat in my car and started the engine, checking my makeup in the rearview mirror. This was the first day of senior year, I shouldn't give this much of a shit but I did. I guess I didn't want things to be different this year, especially since the rude awakening this summer.

-

"Camila has schizophrenia. From what she has told us, it seems to be not that serious. Little to no hallucinations, but she does hear voices. Is that right Camila?" My psychiatrist, Dr. Nolan, explained and looked at me reassuringly.

"Right," I only managed to whisper out. My mind was all over the place, not that it wasn't before, I just never expected to be diagnosed with schizophrenia. You only ever saw the extreme cases on television that were really scary. I kind of always thought the voices that I heard, everyone heard them, like what they called your conscience, I guessed.

"I'm glad that we finally figured this out," My mom said stroking my hair softly while looking at Dr. Nolan, "Her father and I, we were so worried about her. There was no motivation in her, she didn't have that spark in her eye, poor grooming skills, too. When I heard her talking to herself and sobbing, I guess that was kind of the time when I knew something was really wrong. I'm glad she isn't in any great danger."

"Well, with the voices she hears, they could lower her self esteem and cause depression, even suicidal tendencies. Luckily, she will be seeing a therapist once a week and taking medication for her schizophrenia," Visibly putting my mom at ease, Dr. Nolan made my situation clearer to the both of us.

I wasn't depressed, I knew that. The voices just told me sad and irritating things sometimes. They discouraged me a lot, but never actually enough to harm myself.

-

I checked my phone one more time, 7:21 AM read the time, before I plugged the aux cord in and Something Good Can Work by Two Door Cinema Club started to blast through my speakers.

I turned it up, so loud that I felt the bass in my veins. I tried to drown out the worried thoughts in my nervous, jumbled mind. It's just the first day of school, it's not even that big of a deal. I didn't know why I was so nervous, what the fuck.

There's a spanner in the works, you know

You gotta step up your game to make it to the top

So go

Gotta little competition now

You're going to find it hard to cope with living on your own now

Oh oh, oh oh

"I'm fine, I just need to calm down," I told myself.

"Are you? Or are you gonna fuck things up?" They questioned me, antagonizing me.

Let's make this happen, girl

You gotta show the world that something good can work

And it can work for you

And you know that it will

"I won't, I can't. Don't make me mess up. I'm fine, it's just first day jitters, right?" I talked out loud, thinking they could hear me.

"It's not like anybody is going to like you, Camila. Over the summer, they realized how messed up you are," Multiple voices joined in now, "It's just going to be a shitty day and a shitty year. It'll be all your fault."

"Shut the fuck up!" My hand found its way to the volume knob and I felt it violently rotating between my thumb and pointer finger.

Took a little time to make it a little better

It's only going out, just one thing and another

You know, you know

I sang along, I sang my fucking heart out on the way to school. It felt like I was a performer at a concert, but in reality I was just in my car. Before I knew it, I was parked in my usual spot. The time now read 7:40 AM. Class started in 5 minutes, I needed to hurry up and get to my homeroom.

"Mila!" A tight hug formed itself around my waist, while I was standing at my locker trying to compose myself and figure out this stupid schedule.

I turned around and faced my best friends, Ally and Dinah, "Hey guys, it's not like I didn't see you guys last week or anything," I joked, referring to the world's tightest hug that Ally had broke the record for when she saw me.

"Anyways," Dinah began, "There's this new teacher for english I think. I'm not gay but she's fuckin' hot. Mila, go get her before anyone else does!" The taller girl winked at me.

I scoffed and put my freshly bought notebooks into my locker, "I'm not into that whole, teacher-student thing. That's weird. You guys can't even tell me that you are." Ally began humming and staring at her feet while Dinah sucked in her cheeks pretending to not hear me.

"You guys are weird," I laughed and walked past them, to my homeroom across the hall.

Making it into the classroom, I sat down in my assigned seat.

"She won't like you. Doesn't matter if you'll be a good student, she'll still hate you." They harassed me, trying to bring me to tears.

I pulled out my phone and clicked on my Twitter app, scrolling through One Direction's latest tweets, hoping to find a photo that could make me smile and tone out the voices for a bit.

The bell rang and I realized I hadn't even looked at my schedule, shit. Okay, I had english first, which wasn't bad.

I was the first one to get there. Straight away I noticed a female teacher with long black hair that sort of perfectly swept down her shoulders. She was writing something, causing her to look down, so I couldn't really see her face. Wearing a white dress, fastened to her waist with a white belt with gold accents, she looked great. I could tell even when she was just sitting there.

"Hi there," My new english teacher finally looked up at me and I kind of wished she hadn't. Her eyes were killer, she could stab someone with those things. The rest of her face was pale and beautiful. On top of it all she had big plump lips colored in with the brightest shade of red I've ever seen. Then again, I've never seen anyone pull of red lipstick that amazingly before.

"Talk back you stupid shit."

"Hey," My raspy voice almost echoed in the silent classroom, "I'm C-Camila Cabello."

"Two L's right? You must be Spanish, I'm guessing. Me too!" She laughed, "I'm Ms. Jauregui, with a J." She winked at me, then laughed again.