The Super Kyman Project: Collection of Kyman Stories

8. Authoritah?

And with that started our Journey into presidency.

"Alright first thing's first, NO slurs" I said while pointing a stick to a chalkboard.

Cartman gave me a face of agonizing disappointment. This fat bitch.

"What!!! Why the freak not" Cartman blubbered, spitting out some of his caramel buttered popcorn.

"Because fatass, if you say slurs people are gonna turn against you!" I said annoyed.

I could tell Cartman really didn't know how any of this worked and realized we have a FAT load of work to do.

I go back to the drawing board. "Alright, what we need to do is announce our campaign"

Cartman looked at me with his fat eyes,.

"So like what do I do? Post it on Facebook?"

"No fatass you don't post it on Facebook!" I snapped back. You'd think with all that fat in his head he'd have some brain per se.

"We'll figure it out. After you announce your campaign, you're going to have to go and give speeches in different cities." I told him, and I saw his face morph into annoyance.

"That seems like so much work though!"

This fatty cannot be serious.

"No shit fatass being a country leader is gonna take some work" I said while rolling my orbs.

The first day seemer hopeless but finally after a month we finally got some progress on being a candidate.

Which also meant we had to find who our main rival was.

"Spencer Hollis" I said.

"Who?" Cartman asked with his piggy face.

"Our rival candidate?? The guy we have to compete the most against? He's representing the opposite party"

"Party? Nobody said we'd have a party!"

Suddenly my face got as red as my period blood locs. There is no way he was that fucking stupid.
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Few days later Cartman posted on his Instagram:
"hey guyz I'm running for president, vote for me or youre gay!!!"

I looked at it in utter FAT disbelief

"Cartman why the fuck did you announce it on Instagram!" I yelled.

"You said I couldn't on Facebook!"

It was at that moment that I had almost seriously considered killing myself.

"Shit! Cartman! You're not supposed to announce it on any social media! AND AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO BE A GAY COUPLE?" I yelled

"Oh yeah! Heh, forgyatt about that"

I looked over at the window and seriously considered jumping out of it, we're going to lose this election so fucking bad. Per se.

"Ugh fuck okay, cartman we need more publicity, good publicity" 2 minutes in and I am already stressed as FREAK!

I was meowing ALMOST rapidly when cartman placed his hand on my shoulder, "What if we get married and have a huge wedding" He suggested.

My meowing stopped in an instant.

"That's a horrible idea"

"It'll bring press, and it's a GAY wedding. People will never know I'm deeply homophobic!"

"That's... You've actually said much more stupid things than that... let's do it. "

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