A Match Made In Hell (LGBTQ Romance Short Story)

Wholehearted Love

This is the last stage in the cycle, before starting over for the rest of your life. This is usually where you are at your healthiest, it's the most rewarding. Where you've weathered the storm and have found peace and serenity on the other end. For me I found this in myself, I want you to find this in yourself too. It took me a fuck ton of time to get to this stage, but I got here. So I know for a fact that you can get here too. Don't worry it's wonderful here all year round.

There was work that needed to be done on myself, on my life. I watched tons of videos on YouTube, and read books and articles on breakups but nothing really spoke to me. Nothing seemed I guess unique and tailored to me. Although we all go through heartbreak, we all go through it differently. Finding what works for you goes a long way in helping your recovery.

Getting through a breakup comes out to these three steps, now how you get through these three steps is the unique and tailored to your part.

Stage #1 Grievance - You are going to mourn this as if you lost someone, because in a way you did. It's okay to feel sadness, anger, and hurt. This stage could also take a bit of time, you take the time you need.

Stage #2 Acceptance - After mourning this loss, you must accept that this breakup, this loss was meant to be. That it's going to better you for the next love of your life. That even you will be better because of it. It's tough to think about but it's true.

Stage #3 Metamorphosis - You are ready to transform into a better and brighter you. It's okay if this phase takes a while to come across. It's time to focus solely on yourself, this includes self-care and self-love.

"To all the people with good hearts, one day you'll get what you deserve." - This quote got me through a lot of soul and people searching. Because it's true, remain pure-hearted and you will be rewarded. Some people will try to come into your life and ruin you, but you must not let them break you.

No matter if it's a situationship or an actual relationship, no matter the truth beyond its contents it will all hurt the same in the end. Especially in a short time frame, you're scientifically proven to be more hurt over a breakup of 6 months than 6 years. Like I said in the end it's all the same hurt. Unsure where to go, how to navigate, depressed, sad, angry, bitter. But feeling those things may be okay for a moment, but we have to think long-term. This is what I learned.

Stage#1 - Grievance

This stage should have started sooner for me than in June given things ended in March, but I couldn't accept the loss. I didn't want to give up on Jake, but If I hadn't put myself first no one else was going to. The first tidbit I learned is "Remaining Friends" This is difficult to do nearly impossible directly after a breakup. Being friends with your ex, shouldn't be on your scorecard anyway. This stops you from being able to heal, you know that you wouldn't be able to control yourself or your feelings around this person. They were once someone you liked or loved, someone you may have been intimate with. To hang out like best friends sounds like the lowest part of hell. If asked simply decline, don't give them the gratification of slapping a friendship sticker on a failed romantic relationship...hell no. For me, the same reasons I got over not ever wanting a romantic relationship with Jake would be the same reasons I wouldn't want a friendship with him. He lacked empathy, compassion, understanding, & know-how. How could I make a friend out of someone who lacked such basic good human traits? someone who admitted to deceiving me, someone who shut me out when I wanted to have a normal conversation? That doesn't sound like a friend who would be there for me no matter what, they'd tuck tail the first chance they get. Nope, you weren't going to be my friend, and you damn for sure weren't going to make me feel bad for not wanting to be. That's rule number one ladies and gays, don't be friends with your ex right after the breakup. If you both heal and can find common ground or actually were friends before by all means give friendship another shot. But take the time to heal and know who you are again if they have love for you, they'll be there when you're ready.