A Match Made In Hell (LGBTQ Romance Short Story)

Disillusionment

I hope you were able to google the word, if not consider me your personal dictionary for it. Disillusionment is the winter season of love...often referred to as the cold shoulder of love. Very few people make it past this point without proper communication. In this stage you feel like you're at the end of the road, the relationship might be running its course. Life is setting in and it's not looking pretty. This is the stage where most people give up, hinting at the creation of the situationship. A bullshit label to a horror story of a relationship. I don't know about you, I will never accept that type of ship in ever again. At the end of the day, if you want me then you do. We don't need a talking stage, followed by a situationship, followed by who knows what else. It's honestly why the lesbians are the superior of the alphabet mafia, women are scientifically proven to be better than men in tons of categories...building relationships should be at the top of that list. But back to my point "Faith without works is dead" That was a statement my family lived by, I grew up around hardworking single women. Working for what I wanted was etched in my DNA, I knew something worth having was worth fighting for. But what I didn't know was who deserved that fighting and when to give in the towel. Knowing what I know now, Jake didn't deserve that effort, he didn't deserve the like/love I had for him, and he didn't deserve me. Call me delusional, call me self-centered, call me mighty, but to put it simply...I was too damn good for him. And for that, I'm NOT sorry.

Mid-March 2023

If I'm being honest I was enjoying my time with Jake, I didn't think I could like someone this much after three months. But what I feared would happen did...I didn't just like him... I think I loved him. They say an overthinker is just someone who's never been loved properly, I don't disagree. One night I told Jake, about my findings & told him "I know I'm crazy, but I'm worth it. I'm trying just don't give up on me." I meant every word I said to him that night, but his promise to not give up on me he didn't mean. At the first chance he'd get, he was gone without a trace. I knew I didn't want to specifically tell him "I love you" I had an intense fear of running him off & saying that phrase often runs off the mightiest. He told me early on that he really hadn't been to theme parks or really outside the State of Georgia. So I hatched a plan, I wanted to make him so happy that maybe he said "I love you" first and I didn't look like a crazed man. Fun Spot America, the happiest little place in the world...well maybe not. He had a 5 day weekend coming up and it was the perfect time to take him to both locations in Georgia and Florida. He still doesn't know this, I didn't want to use it as an excuse...I wanted his decision to be made based on his sound mind not the wooing of a trip. I thought we could go to the location in Georgia and spend two days in Orlando. I was super excited about it, he would've never seen it coming. I started to buy him some clothes, he never really had extra money for clothes and when he did he'd rather buy video games. But he had to look stylish for Florida, I wasn't going to have it any other way.

March 16th, 2023 - The Beginning of the End

We were vastly approaching the start of his weekend and I was nervous. It felt like I was going to propose to the guy. I wrote down how I was going to tell him that we were going on a tour basically. I knew one thing, fear and anxiousness didn't cloud my excitement, I loved seeing a smile on his face. I recall this day as one of the worst of my life, starting at the worst moment in my life. It was late at night, I was on the phone with my brother gossiping for hours like we'd usually do. Jake is texting me as he normally does throughout the day while he's at work. While on the phone with my brother, I remembered a conversation with his sister and her boyfriend. They were a bit sad that he was spending all of his free time with me. They knew it was a good thing, but that meant they rarely got to see him and hang with him. I knew how much time with my brothers meant to me and I wouldn't want to feel like someone was interrupting that. I didn't need  5 days to surprise him, I could've done it in three. I knew the right thing to do was to at least make him spend a day with his sister, it was all the family he had. So I texted him... "Hey I know you're coming over this weekend, but maybe spend a day with Jasey and Dean." He didn't respond for some time, he was working so I assumed he had gotten busy with a load or something. I told my brother, and it seemed like he was afraid of committing saying "I want to get to know you first but making things official." I knew what I was getting into so I wasn't rushing labels, I was enjoying my time with him so I kept it at that. My brother thought I deserved more and deep down I did too, but I was sure Jake would come through I just needed to see him through this. He wasn't going to have cold feet for a second time right?