Sea of Stars 별바다

Chapter 8

"Why didn't you want me here?" Bada asked in a low voice. I just stayed silent. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Of course I want her here but I just hate feeling like a burden on people. After these last few nights, that's all I feel like I am to Bada. Stuff keeps happening to me and she keeps saving me. I look stupid and pathetic all the time. I rolled over onto my left side facing away from Bada.

"Fine, don't tell me why you didn't want me here but at least tell me what happened. You were fine when I left you that night then the next day you go MIA, and now you somehow ended up in the hospital." I stayed silent again. I was not about to tell her Haneul did this. I just couldn't do that. Not to her or to myself. I know that if she ever finds out about this, she would be torn up about it and I don't want to put that pressure on her. So I just kept silent. Silence is better than the truth at this point. She could see I wasn't budging and her annoyance grew.

"Seriously Luna, what the actual fuck is going on with you. Why won't you talk to me? I know we haven't known each other for long but I thought we trusted each other. Did that guy from the club do this to you again?" she said. Her voice grew louder with frustration as she asked questions trying to figure out what was going on. I didn't say anything and kept my back to her. She got up from her seat to come to the side I was facing.

"Luna please just tell me if he did this to you. We can go to the police and try to fix this." she pleaded with me in frustration.

"No he didn't. I already said it was an accident alright so just stop prying and leave me alone" I semi-screamed at her with tears in my eyes. I was too tired and hurt about everything to scream loudly at her but I just needed her to stop with these questions because she was never going to get the answer she wanted. She stood up and ran a frustrated and irritated hand through her face. Just when she was about to say something else, Kirsten walked in. She could sense the tension in the room as she slowly came near my bed.

"Look guys, I don't know what's happening but I could hear you guys all the way down the hall. Luna you don't need to be stressed out right now so whatever you guys are discussing can wait for another time, alright?" Kirsten said. See her momma bear is coming right out. Bada huffed out a sigh and went to collect her things and she left the hospital. Kirsten made her way towards my side but I was still turned away from her.

"Hey Lulu, how you feeling?" I haven't heard her call me that nickname in years. Hearing her say that just made me break down. I couldn't take it anymore. All of the events that have happened these last few days have sent me into a world of hurt.

"Aww Lulu, it's ok. It's all gonna be ok, I promise. Just let it all out my love" she said while taking me into her embrace. I couldn't help but sob so hard in her arms. She's the closest thing I have to a mother or sister figure so her being here right now means so much to me. As much as I wanted to do this alone, I knew I couldn't so I'm grateful she is beside me right now.

After about five minutes of bawling in her arms, I stop crying and just stay in her embrace. You could still hear me sniffling but I was calming down a bit.

"You wanna talk about any of the things that just happened?" she asked

"Which ones?"

"We'll for starters, what happened with you and Bada? I thought you guys were getting closer and you were getting to form a tight bond with each other?" she said. I let out a sigh and sat up.

"I just, I didn't want her to worry about me so much. She's been with me these past few days taking care of me and I loved it but I just don't want to be a burden on her. My life is too fucked up for her to come in and sweep me away from all the hurt in my life. I see how much of a wonderful woman she is and, I don't really know. I was just scared that she'd see me get hurt again and then she would feel sad. I didn't want her to be sad." I tried my best to explain the way I was feeling about the Bada situation.

"To me, it sounds like you really care about her and her feelings. You know it's not always a bad thing to have people who want to help take care of you right? But I understand where you're coming from. I've seen what you went through in your past and the way you didn't have a system behind you when you needed it the most, but you have one now my love. You have so many people to back you up now and we all love you so much. You're such a loveable person Luna. You shine so bright, that's why I love your name so much. You're the moon that shines the brightest in a sea of stars, my love." she said rocking me back and forth.

I couldn't help but cry a little at what she said to me. It meant so much to me because I truly have a tendency to push people away but I do have so many people that love me. I know my life isn't the way it used to be. I expected the ones who were closest to me to love me but they all turned their backs on me. I know it's a trauma response, so I have to try my hardest to break out of that mindset and learn to take the love that's being given to me.

Kirsten comes and lays in the hospital bed next to me and we cuddle up just talking to each other for the next few hours. I know she tried her best to keep my mind from the situation but I know she was going to ask what happened at some point.

"Look Luna, I know we've just been talking and having a good time, and I'd hate to break the vibe that's going on, but I have to ask, what made you get in the hospital? Was it the same guy from the club?" she asked with a cautious tone. I sighed not knowing exactly what to say to her.

"No it wasn't the guy from the club. Kirst you know I love you like you're my own blood right?"

"Of course I know, but what's that got to do with this?"

"Because I love you, there's just some things I have to keep to myself. For both our sakes. I won't lie to you and say this was an accident but just know that imma get everything sorted out ok? I'm gonna be fine Kirst, I promise." We left the conversation at that. Kirsten ended up getting some food delivered, porridge for me and a burger for herself. I stole some of her fries without her looking though 🤭. After we ate, we lay in the hospital bed talking some more and we fell asleep in each other's arms.

This chapter is a bit shorter because I split the POV's between Luna and Bada. The next chapter will be out right after this so don't worry. Hope you guys enjoyed the story! See you in the next chapter my darlings! 💋 🤗