The Neighbor

Tender Touches

Words: 5578

The drive home was filled with tender touches and relative silence, having only light music playing. It gave you some much needed time to think about your current situation. You were falling for Mildred. Which was good? It was something Diane and Mildred had been hoping for. But you still didn't feel ready to be immersed in a relationship with the three of them. Is that what Mildred expected now that you kissed? 

Maybe you did want a relationship but were just worried what it would look like. Would it really be any different? Diane and Mildred both cared for you and spent time with you already so there wasn't much to change. Just sex really. You were nervous. With Diane everything happened so quickly that you hardly had time to be nervous. You'd only ever been with Diane, and you had the classic performance anxiety mixed with an unrealistic fear that if you had sex with Mildred, she'd be uninterested in you after. Plus, you weren't sure how you'd react to seeing Mildred and Diane together. What if Diane enjoyed sex more with Mildred than she did with you? She probably does since Mildred has lots more experience than you. Your thoughts didn't help alleviate your feelings of inferiority.  

Then there was the issue that'd been plaguing your mind since the moment that question slipped passed the annoying blondes' lips. Were you in an open relationship? You hoped not. The thought of them finding another woman made you want to commit. They wouldn't throw you away like that right? All of your fear about just being a toy came back full force as you anxiously looked over to Mildred. 

"Are we in an open relationship?" you blurted. 

Mildred was silent for a minute which made your stomach do an unpleasant flip.  

"The short answer is no. The long answer is more complex than that because of our dynamic... between Diane and I, the only allowance is you. And I believe I can safely assume Diane would not agree to any sort of outside dalliance, with the exception of me, when and if you're ever ready. If we ever enter a relationship, it will include Diane but no one else, and-" 

"Were not in a relationship?"  You interrupted, which you remembered was rude when Mildred shot you a scolding look. You looked up at her bashfully, silently asking her to forgive your transgression. 

"I didn't believe you were ready to classify us as companions." Mildred said slowly like she was mulling over the words as she said them. She seemed pleasantly surprised that you'd assume you were though. You took a minute to think before coming to the conclusion that you weren't sure if you were ready for a relationship with her... and you weren't going to get her hopes up if you were still uncertain. However, you had expected her not to give you a choice in the matter- which you didn't mind because it was inevitable anyway. 

"I'm not...but we kissed? And I know one kiss doesn't make us girlfriends or whatever, but we like live together and you do pretty much everything for me- well everything that Daine doesn't do. So, I just thought that I don't know- that we were in a relationship of some sort." 

"Of some sort yes. I would do those things regardless of our relationship status. I enjoy taking care of you, you don't owe me anything in return. I'll wait until you're ready." 

"Oh. " You turned to face the window not knowing what else to say. You could feel Mildred looking at you but didn't turn towards her. 

Diane and Mildred were so similar, but also so different. Diane was soft, and sweet, and treated you much like her honorific would imply, she coddled you. But she also hovered, and not only crossed boundaries but normally wouldn't even allow boundaries to exist in the first place. She knew best, always- which was mostly true so you couldn't hate her for it. She loved you so deeply that she never wanted to part with you for even a second. She just needed reassurance that you were as obsessed with her as she is with you. And she had absolutely nothing to worry about because as far as you were concerned the sun rise and set with her. She was your everything. She was the woman that swept you up and carried you away from your sad and lonely life- she made your life worth something. You lived for her.