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The smell of incense was strong, so strong that it was nauseating. There was a gloom in the night that wafted not only among the black formal attires but also in the faces of those present. The smell of incense burning to ashes, sacrificing its existence to appease living and dead souls, failed to conceal the stench of loss, of death.
You were not a fan of such gatherings, just as you were not a fan of gatherings of any kind. You always found them superficial, the way people mingled and gave unsolicited opinions about things they weren't really allowed to criticize. They lacked sincerity, you always thought, and you weren't one for fake pleasantries.
You weren't used to that kind of fake grin and pitying chit-chat. You were used to a form of affection that was raw and unaffected, expressed in simple words that often brought solace to hearts as orphaned as yours, hearts that had learned to let a wound heal itself without applying balm so when it materialized in their hands, they appreciated it.
Jungkook had left your bed to the cold weather that night, counting on the sofa to cope better with his stirrings, not to complain or be disturbed. But just as sleep refused to come to the rendezvous with him, it had also betrayed your promise of encounter, leaving you with endless thoughts of a very vague and simply unknown tomorrow.
That morning was just as quiet as the night that preceded, except for the few greetings smothered in monotone words. You had never seen Jungkook in this state before, which made you doubt your analytical abilities. The thought didn't just occur to you when you saw how disheveled but, at the same time, well-dressed he looked in his black suit, in fact, you had made that doubt known when he had told you about his sister the night before.
Loud and clear.
"After all these years, it's only now that the thought of telling your wife about something this big crossed your mind?"
"Some things are better left unknown, Cass. The right time just hadn't come yet."
"Oh, yeah? And now it did? Finally! Jungkook," There was a desperation in the way you called his name, he sensed it too, which is why he waylaid the callous behavior and decided to grace you with his gaze that had been buried in his plate. "Do you trust me at all?"
"We all have secrets that are better left in the dark." And there was a hint of danger in his voice, you sensed it and hoped the words were just that: Words. "Don't you have some of your own too?"
And your guess was right. It came to what you were scared of, which was why you had decided to drop the subject, afraid it would backfire on you, scared the hidden bodies would run out of the closet.
You promised not to leave the threshold of your house without knotting his tie, just like you always did before he left for work. It was a simple gesture through which you showed that you cared about him, a simple gesture through which you showed him your love that you weren't eloquent enough to express. You would usually fix it and wrap it up with a kiss wishing him a good day, but you knew that today was not a good day, just as you knew that no kiss would halt the earthquake that was shaking the footing of your foundation.
