Perpetual Existence

Shadows

Explaining to Carlisle what is happening again is both frustrating and necessary. He says nothing as I share my experiences and describe how I've fallen for a human girl. Other than confusion, his thoughts do not give away what he's thinking.

Until it does.

Why do I feel like I've heard this before?

I stop and stare at him. "You're experiencing déjà vu?"

"I believe so." He looks toward our destination; Bella's home appears unassuming and pale in the darkening sky. "Her heart rate is too low."

I listen and agree with him. "She's still asleep?" It doesn't make sense. Bella and I figured out we come into a loop at 7:02 am.

"It suddenly races, though." Carlisle's confusion and concern are evident on his features. "I'd say she's in pain."

His words trail behind me as I run and climb up to her window, falling beside her bed, as Charlie holds her hand. She's pale and her skin ice-cold, and yet feverish in other areas. Her forehead is dotted with sweat.

"She won't wake up, Son." Fear chokes Charlie and clouds his thoughts. "I tried to, but nothing is working."

We both turn when we hear a creak of a floorboard in the hallway.

Carlisle pushes her bedroom door open more. "May I exam her?"

Charlie and I nod, getting to our feet and leaving my father to it. We step into the hallway, each of us pacing away and back.

"It's taking all her energy to retain the time distortion. That has to be it." Charlie stops and looks at me. "Has this happened before?"

I shake my head. "No, this is the first time."

"And it may be her last." Charlie curses and rubs a hand over his mouth, his eyes tearing up. "There was one life-changing moment I could change, but I failed."

"What?" This is news to me since he only mentioned the traffic accident incident in the last loop.

"I told you, the memories of these loops fade for me." He shakes his head. "Some more hit when I awoke and they weren't all life and death moments."

"What do you mean?"

"I tried to change Renee leaving with Bella when she was just a baby."

His memories hit me all at once.

His ex-wife holding a sobbing, tiny Bella in her arms, as she screams for her daddy. Bella dressed in flannel and scuffed jeans two years later, getting back up on her bike despite the scrape on her elbow and chin. Bella getting hit by a car and dying in Charlie's arms, and his suicide, unable to cope with her death.

"You had to let her go and take Bella with her."

"I was able to go back two years, but it nearly killed me. Had migraines for weeks, a bloody nose every day. It was worth it, though, because she was able to live for over a decade."

Bella's bedroom door opens and the worry on Carlisle's face is troublesome. "We need to get her to the hospital. If I'm right all her organs are starting to shut down."

"Fuck." I run past Carlisle and pull Bella into my arms. "Are you saying she may be too weak to change?"

"I don't know, Son. You were in a similar state, though feverish when I changed you."

"Will it be safe in the hospital?" Charlie pulls out his cell phone, no doubt ready to call for an ambulance. "I don't even know how she died in the last loop."

"No. It killed her." I shake my head, knowing it's the truth. "We have to monitor her ourselves while we attempt the transformation."

"I can pick up what I need from the hospital." Carlisle leaves before I can thank him.

"Mind telling me what happened in the last loop?" Charlie pulls out a backpack and puts some clothes for Bella inside.

"You've forgotten already?"

He shrugs. "I get a glimpse of her in the hospital room, but not much else. I'm human and my guess that as one, my mind could only handle so many versions of reality."

I don't bother answering him. He doesn't need to know about what put Bella in the hospital. "I'll meet you at home."

He nods and continues as I run down the stairs, carrying my precious cargo.

"I'll save you, my love."

Running is the only time I can clear my mind; a necessity now as I attempt to prepare myself for what's to come. I would have to initiate the transformation, put myself in the position to bite her, possibly more than once, and cause her more excruciating pain.

Something is closing in at the corner of my eye, a shadow. Death is determined to complete its mission.

"You can't have her!" I roar and circle to face it.

The dense, black smoke spreads and changes shape, enlarges and grows, circling in place. "Petty little vampire, you're forcing my hand to break our kind's rules."

Our kind?

Suddenly, the dark mass condenses, becoming more solid. Tendrils of shadows continue to float around an imposing figure of a vampire.

This is no angel.

Carlisle

"They're not here yet." Charlie opens the door of my home the second I step out of my car. He starts to help pull out the hospital supplies from the trunk, along with Alice and Esme.

I'm confused by this turn of events. Edward knows the importance of starting the transformation as quickly as possible.

He should be here.

Charlie's eyes widen. "They left before I did, so it doesn't make sense."

"Something is wrong." Alice sets down an IV and a box of medical supplies in the foyer. "Or right, I'm not sure. I still see Bella as one of us, but the rest of our future is uncertain."

"The Volturi." Jasper's jaw tenses, taking a stance in front of Alice. Not even his hunger and desire for Charlie's blood is a distraction to him. His mate is his only concern.

"I don't know." Alice seems so small and in pain, her hands rubbing her temples. "The harder I try to see our future, the more unclear it becomes."

"Edward's coming," Rosalie and Emmett run into the house from the backyard. Rosalie looks at me, a slim brow cocked. "He's not alone."

Charlie steps toward her. "He has Bella?"

Rosalie shrugs. "I'm assuming that's who he's carrying."

"Someone else is with him." Emmett looks at Charlie then me. "And he's not human."

"You mean...?"

Emmett shakes his head. "His eyes are red."