Becoming Lara (Thomas Sangster Fanfic)

A deep sleep

"No-" I manage to croak out but it's too late. That peaceful grasshopper was squashed. She ignores me and sits back down. She looks at the clock. It's about two in the morning. This time she shuffles up to me and hugs me.

"Everything's gonna be alright" she whispers to herself.

I'm fixated on the squashed insect. It's legs seem to be moving but it's no longer attached to its body. I drown in grief and turn to my sister.

"You know the only thing I never understood about you was, that when something bad happened. You would just tune out. Stop eating. Stop drinking. Stop bloody talking. I was forced to be the brave one and take control of both our emotions. I think it payed off though. It's just sometimes I can't do it anymore you know?"

Her British accent comes out. She adds another sentence,

"I'm sure it will work itself out" she mumbles to herself again. But she's not talking about lara. She's not talking about the incident. There's something she's not telling me,

"What happened?" I sit up, she moves over startled but then cocks her head and lies back down.

"Nothing Thomas." She closes her eyes and rolls over only her stomach for a split second. I see it straight away. There's hand marks around the back of her neck. And a huge bruise hiding behind her clothing. I soon understand and get up straight away and walk away from the bed, from what I just saw. She turns back around and notices that I've seen it. She knows.

"I choose the wrong men Tommy" she smiles sadly.

"No, no!" I yell as I walk over to the door. I know who did this.

A swelling anger rises in my throat causing me to cough and my stomach starts to churn. It's him? It was Derek. I'm going to murder him. I bash my way over to the corresponding room down the hall. I don't even bother opening the door I just kick it open. I can hear Ava rushing after me, yelling at me. I don't care. I don't fucking care anymore. I DONT CARE!

"You stupid little prick" I yell as I come running at him. He's standing at the window. I shove him into the wall. He's a muscly guy but he's no match for angry Thomas Sangster. He shakes at the sudden movement and I take the opportunity to punch him right in the nose. This hurts my wrist but I don't care. My hand balls into a fist and I punch him again. And again. And again. And again. I continue until I see a red liquid gush from his nose. Ava grabs my arms and yanks me away. Screaming at me,

"What have you done? Stop it stop it!!" She yells through tears. I hear others running up the stairs.

Before I know it I'm getting dragged back by Dylan and Poulter. Dylan's trying to calm me down. Derek is still conscious and he gets up, and stumbles over to the door. Where he runs down the stairs and exits the house.

My head is ringing. My fingers are stained with red. My ears are deafened and my eye sight goes blurry. Everything goes fuzzy. I start seeing little grasshoppers dancing around my eyes without legs. Everything just happened so damn fast. I shake so much my eyes pop out of my head and my brains ooze out of my ears. I pass out for yet the second time this week.

- - - - - -

I wake up in front of Ava and Dylan. Their sitting on the ground. I pull upwards and realise I'm lying on the coach, everything hurts. I look at them, Ava looks terrible. She has a bruise on her cheek and hand prints all over he head. Her neck is bleeding. I turn to Dylan who's head is in his hands. He's pulling his hair out with his hands. It's falling on the floor. But I just don't seem to care. He looks up at me and says only one thing,

"Lara isn't going to wake up."

My eyes stain with red tears and a burning sensation escapes into my throat and it blocks up. I start choking on air. Red tears surround my face and my eyes pop out of my head. I can't feel anything at all. I drown on my empty tears with a dry throat.

That's when I wake up screaming.

Someone grabs my arms and yanks them down. I catch my breath and come to,

"Thomas?! THOMAS!" Ava yells

I see my sister and Dylan sitting next to me, I'm on the coach. Exactly like in my dream- nightmare.

"Your okay buddy" Dylan's hands on my shoulder.

"Where is he?" I say. Implying Derek.

"He left after you bashed his nose in" Ava says without emotion.

"Yeah, you stuffed him up pretty bad Thomas." Dylan looks sad

"I don't care. I don't." I say, I sit up and wrap my hands into my hair.

"What's wrong with you? Why are you acting so bloody weird? You've passed out twice this week, and managed to possibly break my boyfriends nose. WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?" Ava yells at me getting up.

"Your boyfriend? Your not with him anymore." I say. Why would she imply that their still dating.

"I love him Thomas." She walks away. She's still wearing her pink nightgown.

"How could you love someone like that's? He abused you! He hurt you?!" I can't understand her. I will never let anyone hurt her.

"You-" she starts

"Stop!" Ki walks down the stairs. He takes another step forward and speaks,

"What would Lara say if she were here, I don't think she'd be very happy that her husband was passing out regularly, starving himself and bashing up people. We're all trying to cope with this. What about your kids? Have you even seen them since the first night at the hospital. Do you even know where they are right now? No, you don't. Because you haven't been there for them. You've been passed out on the couch, after abusing Ava's boyfriend last night. Your kids heard all about that by the way. They are dealing with grief. Your not dealing with it? Your fighting it. You can't fight grief! You have to work with it! So stop being so weak Thomas. Your wife isn't here right now, and neither are you. Right now your children are at the hospital. Trying to wake their mother up. Do you know who took them? Lara's brother will, he's been taking all responsibility for them, and yet he feels so horrible for what happened to her. Out of everyone he feels the most grief. He is not only blaming himself for it, so is September. In fact she left today. She couldn't handle it, she nearly had a break down. Oh and for the other Will, he's at the hospital every time the visiting hours are in place. Look at everyone around you. We are all struggling. Stop being so selfish."

Ki leaves.

- - - - - -

Author:
I'm sorry but we needed to see what Thomas's dark side was like sooner or later.

-lily x