Chapter 1

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Love and Hate.

There's a fine line between the two. Maybe that's where you stood right now.

Because the situation couldn't be more unclear.

You never thought it would become like this. You'd been so naive when Team Flash first started out. It was just the five of you against the forces of evil.

At least that's what you thought.

The very man you cared most about in the world turned out to be the big bad you'd been hunting for months. It was a hard pill to swallow. But Barry's time travel and Cisco's dreams, it became clear that this was not the Harrison Wells you knew.

So standing face to face with him as he taunted Barry, hands running over the back of your head as you refused to move a muscle, he just smirked.

"You lose Barry, now you're going to watch as I cut down everyone you care about. ''

Cisco and Caitlin stood helplessly at the side. You could see the pain reflected in their eyes. Barry was defeated.

Eobard leaned in pressing one last kiss to your lips. You didn't even fight. Your brain is still processing it all. Just as he pulled away, that dangerous red glow sparked in his eyes.

Maybe if he hadn't been so fixated on revenge he would have understood the repercussions that came with Barry resetting the timeline.

One breath.

It was one staggered breath and he looked down at your hand that was actively vibrating and rammed right into his chest.

One more and you removed your hand.

His body dropped, nothing but dead weight.

The room was quiet.

So quiet.

No one knew what to say. Joe lowered his gun and Iris was frozen in place. In a way, they all were. Barry couldn't believe that the man who pledged to kill him was now dead on the floor.

You sank to your knees, unable to hold back the tears.

"I'm...sorry.."

It was all you could get yourself to say.

After that nothing was the same.

Team Flash was safe. It was a win, but ultimately you lost. You no longer had the love of your life or faith in your own humanity.

Eobard was right, he did win.

The weeks following, you finally announced that you were leaving Central City. You could see that they didn't want you to leave, but no one knew what the right words were to say. It just hurt to be there. The way they looked at you, it wasn't the same.

In the span of a month you were gone. You started in a quiet little city in Portland working a regular desk job at city hall. You couldn't get yourself to go back to the force. Not after you'd broken the one rule.

To protect and serve.

It was too painful a reminder.

They never lost contact. You got constant postcards from Cisco. Every few months Caitlin would send you a sample of a new exotic plant she found with a little care package and a letter attached. Iris came down to visit a few times to see how you were doing.

Barry...

He never visited, never texted, barely called. You knew why. To him, you were a killer. Regardless of Eobard's crimes, Barry was against it. He couldn't even look at you and a part of you thought you deserved it.

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