Back For You (Larry Stylinson AU)

28 - It'll get better Bambi

AN - So this is relatively short... I hope it's alright, it was quite rushed because i have revison for three assements... lord help me!

Awh there is cutesy Narry bromance moments in this, bless.

Now this goes with one of the BEST songs i know, Only Love by Ben Howard. He is heaven and I love him. I may or may not have had this song on repeat whilst writing....

ALSO OMG 35000 READS I AM CRYING AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH AND 1 VOTE AWAY FROM 500 WHAT IS GOING ON HELP I THINK IM CRYING! Thank you soooo much for your support, and your comments have been PHENOMENAL! I literally cannot stop smiling every time I get one, you are all so amazing and lovely! Thank you!

I have decided that for the next few chapters I'm going to dedicate chapters to some of you who have really made me smile a lot, and there is a lot of you!

As always please vote/follow/comment if you like, it really does mean a lot, I don't just say it.

Love you all my sweetums, you are amazing!

It should be a snow storm, raining, a thunder storm – something…

The simple, bitter cold that cloaked London didn’t seem to be enough to Harry as he lumbered back to Niall’s mind reeling with thoughts that passed so fast and angry, and sad, that he couldn’t read them. He was just left in a hazy state as he stumbled across roads, not checking for cars, just desperate to get back to Niall’s.

Just desperate to get away.

As Harry reached Niall’s, he raced through the door and walked quickly to the lift, pressing the button over and over again in an attempt to get the lift to arrive quicker. The door pinged open and he stepped inside, grateful that there was no-one else around who needed to share the lift, because the tears that had been brimming are now beginning to zigzag down his face in a torrent – unstoppable.

The lift door slid open and Harry fell out of the lift, steadying himself to walk down the hall to Niall’s flat. When he reached the door he knocked quietly, his chest heaving as he blinked frantically to try and clear his vision, his entire sight blinded by droplets of tears that just kept on falling.

Niall eventually opened the door, and when he did he was met with a sobbing Harry; curls matted at the front from where he had gripped and pulled in the lift to try and force the tears to stop – which didn’t work ; face and eyes red from crying; eyes puffy and brimming with unshed tears; cheeks glistening with the tears that cascaded; mouth hanging slightly open to drag in hitched breaths to steady his racing heart and calm the ache in his chest; lips red and swollen from biting harshly to prevent himself from screaming.

“Harry!” Niall exclaimed, rushing out and wrapping his arms instantly around Harry’s shoulders, “Oh Haz…” He added more softly, knowing that something must have happened with Louis, “Harry… come inside, tell me everything.”

~-~

Once Niall had led Harry inside, he took him upstairs and tucked him into the spare bed and taking two boxes of Kleenex tissues out of the bedside cabinet, before running into his room to grab extra pillows and an extra blanket to make it extra cosy. He patted Harry’s hip gently to silently tell him to ‘budge over’, before slipping in next to him and throwing one arm around Harry’s shoulder, pulling him close so the Cheshire boy’s head was resting on his shoulder as Niall stroked his carefully.

“Now, are you ready to talk?” Niall asked softly, “Can you tell me what happened?”

Harry sniffled, reaching for his third tissue already, to wipe his running nose, “Uh, yeah.” He mumbled, throwing the tissue across the room and watching as it landed straight in the bin, “Yeah I can.”

Niall hummed, “Ok Bambi, when you’re ready…” He said, using the pet name he made up in their first year in college when Harry cried whilst they all watched Bambi – Niall had never let him live it down.

Harry sighed, breath shaking and hitching pathetically, “So much can change in four years, can’t it?” He started, “I mean, really. You look back four years ago and Louis was mine and he loved me, and we both thought we would be together forever and always. I was the first person he fully showed his heart to, and I just fell apart at his attention – I was soppy really. I would do anything for that boy; no matter what; absolutely anything, because my favourite thing was when he smiled, and when that smile was for me I just knew I was his to keep.” Harry said; voice weak and battered, his lips sore from biting and eyes aching from crying.

Niall bit his lip. He had no idea that Louis had asked Eleanor out. He knew that they had been texting since he introduced them one Saturday, but he had no idea that Louis liked her.

“You look now and he has moved on and found some gorgeous girl to fill the space I left behind just because I was weak – not because I ever loved him any less. Not because I ever thought I wasn’t his, or because I thought my forever was somewhere else, or because I could look at him and not feel this ‘rush’ that romantic movies gush about. Not because of any of that, because I felt that every day that I was locked in that prison. Even when I woke in the night with panic attacks, I would go back to sleep thinking that my forever would be out here waiting for me, and that my forever would have perfect blue eyes; and flicky hair which he would be ever changing between a sweeping fringe and a quiff; small hands that fit inside mine; addicting Doncaster accent that sounds husky as he whispers secrets and promises in my ear meant only for me; birds on his arm to fill my empty birdcage.” Harry choked, nose running like a young child and eyes leaking and leaking like he had to fill the room with tears.

Niall just continued to rub his hand slowly and rhythmically on Harry’s shoulder, passing him tissues when his face became too mucky. He shifted slightly so Harry was lying in the indent of his body, as he attempted to cocoon the slightly taller boy in his hug, desperate to show the boy that he was there, and that he was there and that he cared.

“He was always with me, and I only ever felt love. I still feel him under my body late at night because I swear my body was carved for his, and I only ever feel love. He gave me somewhere to run to when I was scared, and I get scared a lot, and I only ever felt love. He told me he loved me and I know it was true, and I only ever loved him with all my heart.” Harry mumbled, voice cracked and hoarse, “Though he has someone else and he no longer needs me, I will be his to keep, and I will forever fall apart at his smile, and I will always only ever feel love.”

Niall smiled sadly, pushing Harry’s fringe back from where it had stuck to his cheek with tears, his heart swelling with brotherly, protective instinct, “It’ll get better Bambi, I promise.”

Harry sniffled, “I suppose it will, in time.” He licked his lips even though they were glistening with tears, “For now I will just hope he will show me love again, some day.”