The Pharaoh's Lotus

Chapter 37

Rubbing the crusts of slumber from her eyes, Malawashina yawned into her hand before she reached down to trace her fingers along the empty space beside her on the mattress. She felt no warmth there and turning her head she looked down to the empty space with doleful eyes.
The Pharaoh had not shared her bed for almost two moons. It was the same story for her harem sisters. Apart from the births of Princesses Sutererey and Tiyamun's children, none had seen him but in passing. Now, he rarely entered the harem but to see the Queen. Nefertari herself had not left her chambers since the birth of their new prince, Meryatum.
All knew that the new prince was healthy and spirited, as were the two new princesses, but the same could not be said for the Lady of the Two Lands.
All within the palace understood the trauma she had faced and thus sympathised, but sympathy could not overshadow the ever consuming uncertainty for none but their Sovereign had been allowed audience with her since that day.

Sighing, Malawashina flung her legs over the side of her bed, her head swooning slightly from her drowsiness. A churning in her stomach brought stinging bile into her throat, but she forced it down as she regained her countenance. As she moved to her vanity, she could not help but feel heavier with each step. No sooner did she seat herself did the door creak open as Princess Merytra let herself in quietly.
"Oh, Mala!" Merytra exclaimed with surprise, "I did not expect you to be awake so early!"
"My sleep has been restless of late," Malawashina yawned once more. "Have you come to wake me?" She managed an amused grin.
Merytra chuckled, "Yes and no," she answered innocently. "I know that you have not been feeling yourself for some time, so I wanted to come to cheer you up today from the very moment you wake! Though you are unexpectedly already roused."
"Apologies," Malawashina smiled with appreciation, "Shall I return to bed?"
Merytra laughed heartily at this. "No, no, it is quite alright. I am in fact relieved that you are awake for I did worry you might be in a sour mood if I tried to rouse you before you were ready. Anyway, how are you feeling?"
"I feel strange," Malawashina admitted. "I feel like I have not slept at all and my body feels like it has been weighted down by a boulder."
An expression of concern riddled Merytra's face. "Are you still feeling nauseous?"
"A little," answered Malawashina. "I cannot help but worry for the Queen. I miss her and now, when I am no longer in our husband's graces,  I fret that neither of them will ever forgive me."
Merytra placed a gentle hand upon Malawashina's now quivering shoulder.
"Do not worry. They will forgive you, just give them time. They are still not allowing any of us an audience, either. I have heard that Nefertari is still refusing a wet-nurse to feed Prince Meryatum, and barely allows anyone, even our Pharaoh, to hold him."
"And I am to blame for this..." Malawashina whimpered.
"No, Mala, please stop blaming yourself!" Merytra enveloped her in a warm embrace as she wiped the younger princess' tears that suddenly sprouted in her eyes away with a handkerchief she had hidden within the folds of her dress. "The entire palace knows it was not your fault. Isetnofret should never have provoked you and had Utati attacked. The fault lies entirely on her head and she will be judged for it accordingly. Now, come, let me call for our morning meal." 
Malawashina considered her friend's words, but the longer she thought about them, the more silent they fell and the louder that other voices in her head grew. She should have shown restraint. Her hotheadedness brought shame upon her and her family, her nation.

As Merytra chatted away merrily whilst they ate, Malawashina could not help but feel her thoughts getting more and more clouded, her stomach churning uncomfortably with every bite of the durum cakes and figs that she took. This did not go without notice, and Merytra stopped mid-sentence to look upon her friend with concern.
"Mala? Your complexion has paled. Shall I fetch a physician?"
"I will be fine..." Malawashina gave a weak smile. "The smell of this wine is making me feel nauseous. Is it not spoiled?," she pushed her chalice away in favour of the cup of water Seshen poured instead.
Merytra raised an eyebrow. "There is nothing wrong with the wine. Mala, may I ask you something personal?"
Malawashina forced down a gulp of the water and nodded, "Of course you can."
Merytra composed herself. She knew she did not need to sweeten her words with the younger Princess. "I have noticed that you have not visited the House of Cleansing for a while. With how you have been feeling since before the incident, I am inclined to suspect something... something fantastic, of course."
Malawashina's eyes widened in her dreary state. She had not even thought about such a thing; she had been too preoccupied to do so. "Do you think...?"
"Yes, of course it is possible! Have you not shared the bed with our husband prior to everything? Has he not blessed you with Min's sap while doing so? Oh Mala!" Merytra laughed, causing Malawashina to blush furiously. "Have you felt any pain in your abdomen lately? Tenderness of the breasts and...lower region?"
"I have, actually," Malawashina admitted. "I just suspected my menses was going to grace me. However, I have not heeded the fact that it has not yet arrived. Could it not all be stress?"
"Mala, come now, we all know these conditions are not from stress!" 
"Do you really think I could be...?" Malawashina's eyes welled with tears once more from the prospect.
"Yes! Oh, how wonderful it would be if we could become mothers together!" Merytra clapped her hands excitedly. Malawashina had also almost forgotten that important news - that Merytra was now finally with child.
"Oh, I do truly hope so, Mery!" Malawashina's tone was fervent with enthusiasm despite her lethargy.
"Then," Merytra began as she swallowed the food that was in her mouth, "shall we have you examined by the physicians? We can go to see Utati afterwards as well!"