Asylum || 5sos

Ashton

Recap: "No," Luke said collapsing to his knees. "Don't."

I walked into my room to see Michael sitting there. "What are you dong here?" I said. "Oh, well if you forgot this is my room too." He said. I rolled my eyes. I walked over to the bathroom. "Ashton don't you think about harming yourself again." He said. "Don't worry I won't." I lied. Fuck you Michael. I thought to myself.

I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked at my eyes. They were bloodshot. "Shit." I mumbled. "Shit!" I yelled. I looked back in the mirror and thought of when I first harmed myself, how no one could trust me alone.
•Flashback•
"Get your fucking ass upstairs now!" My foster mom yelled. I stared at her my eyes wide. "Now!" I turned and ran for the stairs. I got to my room and slammed the door. I ran over to the bathroom and locked the door. "Fuck my life." I said in my head. "Fuck this." I grabbed my blade and held it to my wrist. I breathed in. "Fuck." I thought as I made the cut. I held it to my wrist again. I slid it across my wrist again. I winced. I placed the blade down on the counter. I ran my finger along the cuts. Blood ran down my arm. I walked to the towels and pulled one out. I placed it over the cuts. I winced again. The towel stung the cuts. I closed my eyes. Fuck. I thought. Fuck.
•Flashback over•
I shook my head. "No!" I screamed. I heard a bang on the door. "Ashton?" It was Luke's voice. "Go away!" I screamed tears running down my face. "Ashton please just open the door." This time it was Calum's voice. "All of you can fuck off." I yelled. "I'll do all it takes not to go home with that fucking bitch." I opened the drawer and found a single silver blade. I pulled it out. "Fuck all of you. I'm leaving and this is final. Let me bleed out in here alone. Either way when I die I'll be alone." I held the blade to my wrist. "Ashton don't. Come on you promised me! You promised you wouldn't do this again!" Luke yelled banging on the door. "No Luke. You don't control what I do. I control what I do." I pressed blade into my skin. I screamed. "Ashton." Luke was crying. "Stop!" I continued to press down harder. Tears ran down my face. "Fuck!" I screamed. "Ashton please open the door!" I began to see spots. I reached for the door knob and turned the lock the door swung open. I fell forward. Luke caught me. "Luke, I'm sorry." I said tears running down my face. I held up my wrist. "No, Ashton." Luke cried. "No." He grabbed my wrist and held onto it trying to stop the bleeding. "Luke," Calum said. "We can't help him. This is for the doctors to do." Luke looked over to Calum. "Then go fucking get them!" He yelled. I saw more and more spots. "Luke. Michael." I said. Michael tried to stand up but just fell back down in his bed. "I'm here Ashton. Now you need to stay here too. Got it?" I nodded weakly. "Come on Ashton don't close your eyes." Luke said. My eyes kept closing but fluttered open. "Come on Ashton. Please." Then my eyes closed completely. I tried to open them but I couldn't. "Ashton, no come on." Luke cried. "No!"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: WHAT THE FUCK