Discordant Note | TBATE

Chapter 13: Exile

It was a strange experience.

When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to notice how far the sun had moved during the time I had spent trying to assimilate the Will. An hour or two had passed in meditation. Another thing I hadn't noticed was how mentally worn I felt.

It was as if I had been doing calculus all day again, but condensed in a mental drain that made it slightly harder to think. The mental fatigue surprised me in its intensity: I hadn't even noticed until I finally pulled myself from the assimilation process.

"The assimilation will take a long time more," Lady Dawn said primly, standing in front of me once more. "You will begin to feel the onset of the Will's struggles. Whenever these occur, I shall help you distribute the mana across your system."

I nodded in a tired thanks. "Assimilation is practically the inverse of Integration," I said with a daze. "Instead of drawing mana into oneself to the point of bursting the core," I continued, my thoughts slowly becoming more clear, "I spread it out from my core, allowing it to dissolve into my body." It was an interesting dichotomy; a push and a pull. Was there any correlation? Were they connected?

Lady Dawn's eyes narrowed in a complex expression. "You do know of the secret of Integration," she said with masked surprise. "That information has been leashed and kept away from men for centuries, lest they grow too powerful. But you, lesser of another world, know it."

A splash of clear panic cut through my exhaustion like a knife, clearing my mind as one might blow away fog. I realized a bit too late that I probably should not have admitted I knew the secret to achieving Integration, the stage beyond white core.

Despite not interacting for long, Lady Dawn and I had been playing a game of keeping secrets to ourselves, an unspoken understanding between us that our relationship could not stand if either of us pushed.

How did I know so much about the future? What had she done to reincarnate me? We both burned with questions, I was sure. But a tense arrangement had been reached without words; one that couldn't be disrupted.

But if one of us released a secret of our own accord, the story changed.

My thoughts spiraled into a dozen what-if scenarios and worries. Asuras, in general, really could not be trusted to keep the well-being of 'lessers' in mind. The Vritra clan regularly experimented on people in the infernal dungeons of Taegrin Caelum, picking anything they could touch apart to see how they worked. They were the worst kind of scientist: the kind without any ethical limits to stop their rampant experimentation.

Kezess Indrath and the dragons of Epheotus had committed genocide on a scale beyond the worst megalomaniacs of my past life, succeeding in completely eliminating an entire race of peaceful people–the djinn–in a horrific act. And it was done only because these people held more knowledge than he; more mastery of what he wanted for himself.

I didn't really know how much I could trust Lady Dawn, but I also didn't have a choice. The asura of the Hearth, of which Lady Dawn was a part, seemed far more amiable to mortal kind than any other. They actively lived with the last remnants of the djinn, procreating with them and continuing the last remnants of a destroyed culture.

Lady Dawn cut through my perceived panic like a knife. "I will not press, Contractor," she said, allowing my racing heart to settle. "If it will set you at ease, I will tell you a truth of my own." She paused, looking at my face for a while. "I cannot manipulate mana as I am now. I am unable to act beyond your shell."

Grateful for her change of topic, I blurted out a question. "Wait, can't you manipulate mana? But you helped me with my own."

Lady Dawn shook her feathered head. "No, I can merely assist you in efforts you already undertake, and only when you are in a meditative state." She walked to a nearby tree, raising her arm. My curiosity turned to confusion as she waved her translucent arm at the tree, passing straight through without even a ripple.