Prohibited Feelings

Chapter Five | Never Wanted It For Me

Hailey's pov:
    As I walked into school on Monday morning with Zander and Luke, I felt a sense of clarity in my head. The same feeling I've had all weekend. After making the decision that Jake's not worth my time and energy anymore, I've never been happier.

Jake's made it clear that he doesn't see me the same way I used to see him, and it was tiring constantly worrying about his feelings for me. I still want to be friends with him though, but I'm moving on from my previous romantic feelings for him.

I parted ways with Zander and Luke, and started walking to homeroom. I noticed a familiar figure ahead of me, I immediately recognized Jake and my stomach churned as I thought back to the events of last week. I'm determined to not let him get to me, even if that was going to be hard. I swore to prohibit my feelings for him and find someone else, and I'm sticking to that plan.

Jake and I crossed paths as we walked through the hallway, he quickly noticed me and stopped in his tracks,

"Hey Hai- Hailey, what's up?" Jake asked, sounding a little too happy for eight in the morning.

"Morning Jake." I say trying to sound calm and collected. "Nothing much, how'd it go with Daisy?" I ask Jake as he looks at me, his cheeks are a little pink in color.

"Not so good," He shamefully admits. "Daisy and I had a bit of a talk, and things kind of blew up between us. All I'm going to say is that it didn't end in the way that I wanted it to."

Daisy rejected him? That means that he's still single, but it doesn't matter though. If he wanted to be with me, he already would've. I nodded at Jake's response, trying to look understanding because I truly felt bad for him.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, Jake. I know how much you liked her." I say, sounding sympathetic.

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault." Jake tells me in a sort of commanding tone.

We continued to talk before we both headed to homeroom. This time it felt different though, I feel kind of relieved. Maybe it was because my feelings for Jake have cooled after spending the weekend away from him to think about what I really want. Or maybe it was because I've finally decided to let go of my attachment to him.

Regardless of the reason, I'm starting to feel as if Jake is just a friend now, and nothing more. This realization gives me a sense of peace and lightness that I've been missing for so very long. My devotion to Jake's love had faded, and now I see him as the good friend that he is.

Jake looked tremendously happy to see me today though, it was pretty unusual to see him this excited to talk to me. I'm not saying that he's never happy to see me, but he's treating me as if I'm Daisy. Jake and I eventually went our separate ways, and I arrived to homeroom just before the bell.

The rest of the school day was a complete blur, but I couldn't forget that I'm supposed to meet up with the club at Jake's house for a get-together tonight. I think Zander and I are both equally dreading going to Jake's house because Max and his band would be there.

As much as I'm excited to hang out at Jake's house for the first time, I also have a sense of apprehension in the back of my mind. Even after our chat this morning, there's still a lot of tension between us. Yet, Jake seems to be pretty oblivious to the feeling, leaving me the only one realizing the awkward feeling.

I'm finally home from school, and I have just enough time to myself before I have to go to Jake's place tonight. Luke offered to take Zander and I, and there's no way we would pass up on that offer since we're both not the best drivers. I headed downstairs to see Zander, who was waiting by the door for Luke to arrive. He was fidgeting with his hands and didn't seem to notice that me until I stood next right to him.