What Could I Do? - The Summer I Turned Pretty

13.

I knew that even though she wouldn't be my first kiss, I could still be her first kiss. But I was too late.

When I saw Conrad kiss her like it was nothing to him, it made me so angry. I wanted to knock him out.

Even though Belly and I just kissed, I was selfish for getting upset.

She wasn't mine.. and I wasn't her's. I don't understand why it hurt so much watching him kiss my favorite girl.

With the kiss I had with Belly, I only imagined it to be Atlas. I didn't see Belly, I saw Allie. I pictured Allie in my head. Belly kissed me, just as I thought I was over Allie. She reminded me of her existence.

I lost it once I got in the drivers seat. I made Allie sit in the front with me because I couldn't handle potentially her kissing Conrad while I drove.

How could she not tell me they were dating? Had our moments together this summer meant nothing to her?

As I started the car I gripped hard on the steering wheel.

"So how long has this been a thing?" Conrad asks, as he looks at Belly and I.

"In a span of a week?" Conrad asks and laughs.

I then decide to ask a question that was burning inside of me.

"Was that your first kiss Allie?" I ask her as I look at her then at the road again.

She hesitates but Conrad speaks up. "No, man. We've kissed so many times. I mean we would be kissing right now if we could."

I try to contain myself even more after I hear Conrad opening his mouth. He was making it so hard for me not to punch him square in the face right now.

I look over to see Allie not confirming or denying it. So I had to assume he was telling the truth.

I felt a pit of sadness wash over me.

"I was her first kiss you know." Conrad adds and I couldn't take it anymore.

"That's it." I say as I suddenly stop the car and look back angrily at Conrad.

"Okay, no more talking. Seriously! I don't want to hear a single word from any of you. One word then you're walking home. I don't give a fuck anymore." I snapped. I had to, I couldn't bare to hear anymore about what Conrad and Allie do.

I felt Belly touch my shoulders and I flinched but then relaxed as I realized it was just Belly. She always knew how to calm me down.

-

Belly said she was hungry, and we were stuck in traffic so we decided to stop at a gas station to get the girls some food.

I thought about what I was going to get the girls hard. I wanted to impress Allie, show her that I cared.

Conrad and I got out of the gas station, and we both went to the candy aisle.

"Allie doesn't like candy, she likes chocolate." Conrad says as he grabs a Twix bar for her.

"Who doesn't love candy?" I say to him and he shrugs.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help. I think I know my girlfriend better than you do." Conrad's words stung me. I let go of the candy I was holding and shoved Conrad into the aisle.

"Hey man, what's your problem seriously. Why are you doing this to me?" I say to Conrad with tears staining my eyes.

"Why am I doing this to you? You did this to yourself man. Maybe if you get your head out of Belly's ass, you could see how into you Allie is." Conrad's words rang in my ears.