What Could I Do? - The Summer I Turned Pretty

9.

Jeremiah p.o.v

I could remember the first summer everything changed.

I was laying down laughing with Belly and Steven. We were playing eye spy, stuff 7 year olds would do when waiting for our parents to call us for dinner.

Our door was shut and when I saw the door open and closed, in walked a girl who looked around Belly's age.

Belly squealed at the sight of a girl in the house, and Steven and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

"Who are you?" Steven asks as he looks at the little girl.

"I'm Atlas." The girl replies.

That was the first time I met Allie. I didn't know it at the time, but I would learn that, that girl would hold a grasp on my heart.

I don't know how she got a hold of it, maybe it's because I knew her before I could learn how to hold a wall in between it. Or maybe I just had a soft spot for her. It's like she could do no wrong in my eyes.

I can't tell if she made my life better or worse. Seeing her with anyone made me jealous. I just wanted to always be around her. Find any excuse to be with her.

But last summer, last summer is when I could truly see Belly.

She truly took my breath away, it was no longer just Atlas, because there was Belly too.

Belly didn't send mixed signals like Atlas did, until she did.

I could remember the first time I felt something for Allie.

It was the thanksgiving she turned 12. That semester of English class we analyzed love poems.

Allie always took interest in me and what I had to say. So I decided to teach her what I learned from class.

After that day, we still to this day point out our opinions on whether couples are in love or not. It turned into an inside joke because nobody else gets it the way we do.

Belly, Steven and Conrad think it's rude to be being nosy in peoples relationships. They just don't understand us.

She made me feel more confident, and comfortable. I couldn't help but to catch feelings for her. But I knew she would never feel the same way.

She never talked about guys or girls, when I would ask Belly who she liked she would shrug.

Atlas was just like that, she never liked anyone it seemed. I always felt like my crush would go away within time. But here we are now, my feelings for her have only grown.

I couldn't tell if I liked Belly because she reminded me of Allie, or if I genuinely liked Belly.

I don't know why I got so upset when Belly told me that she kissed Conrad.

Maybe it was the fact that she moved on so quickly, or the fact that while I kissed her I imagined kissing Atlas. Does that make me a bad person? To be imagining someone else was kissing you?

That's why I forgave Belly so easily after our conversation on why she did it.

I was just happy that Allie was available.

Even though I got jealous that Allie had been FaceTiming Conrad during the school year. I couldn't help but to think what they were talking about.

She didn't really text me that much this school year.

Here I was in the beach house unable to sleep again. Up at 2am thinking about Atlas.

Just as I was about to turn to sleep, I felt a buzz from my phone. I decided to check out the notification. And it turned out to be from Allie.

"I can't sleep, are you awake?" The text read, and I instantly smiled at the text.

I replied almost instantly, "yes gn 😉"

She replies back, "I'll see you at the pool in 5." I sighed and put my phone to my chest and smiled.

I get up from the bed and put on some shoes, not bothering to put on a shirt. I knew it drove her wild when I was shirtless. I could never forget the time I came in her and Belly's room.

Both girls spat their drinks out or started choking on their drinks when I walked in.

Once I got my shoes on, I walked over to the pool. That's when I spotted her putting her feet in the pool, ankles deep.

"Mind if I sit here?" I ask her as I took a seat right next to her. I took off my shoes, and put my feet in the pool with her.

I chuckle and she giggles as we both watch my shoes beside me. "I'm not sure why I brought these with me." I say to her and she smiles at me.

"It's okay, I forget to put on a shirt too- I mean, uh. Forget it." She says and I look at her and chuckle again.

"You look cute when you get flustered you know." I say to her and wink. She looks at me mortified, and I put my bare arm around her.

"Oh come on Allie, I'm just messing with you. Don't have to go all shy on me now." I say to her, and I start to ruffle her hair.

She pushes me playfully and smiles as she tries to make her hair nice again.

"Stop messing with me!" She whines as she pouts at me and I gave her one back.

"I'm sorry for not texting you enough after the funeral Jere." She says to me and my breathing changes.

I was hoping I could cherish this moment with Atlas a little longer, but I knew that wouldn't last. Nothing would ever be the same, ever since my mom died, none of us has been the same.

"It's okay, I know I'm not the only one grieving. You also are too." She says to me and weakly smiles.

"I am to blame just as much as you are." I say to her.

"I just wish everything could go back to normal." I added to her and she nods her head and puts her head on my shoulder.

"Love you Jere, just remember that we are all in this together." She says to me as she grabs my hand and entwined them together. I couldn't help but to smile down at the contact.