Conditions - A Wilmon Story

Six

I'm sitting on the bus next to Sara on the way to school. The school does not accept more than one day absence because of the video. And of course I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone again, especially Wille. Do you notice the irony? At least I hope so, otherwise it wouldn't be so great. 

"Simon? Hello?" Sara waves her hand in front of my face. "What?" I look at her questioningly. "We have to get out of here" I look out the window. "Oh fuck" I quickly grab my backpack and follow her outside. "Where you are with your thoughts?" "Believe me, you better not know that" we go to the entrance. 

On the way there, I'm getting slower and slower. I can't go in there. I can't sit in the classroom and pretend like it's nothing. But that's exactly what I have to do, whether I want to or not. "Come now, otherwise we'll be late" says Sara, slightly annoyed. "I'm coming," I answer, in the same tone as her. 

Arriving in front of the classroom, I take two deep breaths and go inside. Everyone stares at me like I'm an alien. I quickly go to my seat and sit down. A short time later Wille arrives. Everyone stares at him too, I stare too, but for different reasons. He goes to his place. 

Classes begin and I don't think I've had such trouble concentrating in a long time as I have today. Wille looks at me once or twice throughout the morning. But that's okay. It would be a lot worse if he stared all the time. 

I now sit in the music room and play the piano, because that can distract me pretty well. Also, there are no other people here right now, so I'm in peace. After I've played everything I know by heart, I frantically think about what other song I could play. I'm just about to start playing again when there's a quick knock on the door and the next moment it opens. 

Wille. 

What is he doing here? He comes in and closes the door behind him. "Can we talk for a moment, please?" he looks at me questioningly. I nod and focus on the piano again. "I'm an idiot" he begins. "I know" I state dryly. "Yesterday was a complete mistake. I should never have done that" he leans on the piano and watches me. 

"I would have come to you yesterday and apologized, but I didn't know if you were sleeping and all, that's why I'm doing it now" he pauses for a moment. I pause the song and watch him. If you look at him for a while, you'll notice that he doesn't look much better than me. He still has slightly red eyes and dark circles. 

"I'm sorry. And if you don't want to be with me anymore because of my action yesterday, I can completely understand, I mean I broke up with you. But could we at least remain friends? I don't want to lose you completely" he says quickly, as if he likes it hurt a lot if he said it normally. "Wille..." I say slowly.

"I know I definitely didn't reacted the way I should have last night and I'm really sorry for that. But your action also made me realize that I need time for myself, whether it's days or weeks, I don't know. But I know that I don't want to lose you completely either. Friends, okay?" 

I smile convulsively and stand up. Wille spreads his arms and I hug him. He wraps his arms tightly around me. We stand there like that for a few minutes and then slowly separate from each other again. I honestly have to admit that a tear or two rolled down my cheeks during the hug, apparently with Wille too. 

He smiles and puts his hands on my neck. What is he going to do now? I think about running out of the room in a panic, but then I realize what he's up to and let it happen. He kisses me a long time on my forehead.

Pov Wilhelm 
The next three days pass without much unexpected happening. I've never spoken to Erik as often as this week. Three or even four times a day has become normal. During the day I go to school as if nothing happened, at night I cry my eyes out because of everything, not just because of Simon. 

And then in between some people who shouldn't actually be there make it onto the school grounds, for example reporters or other overly curious people who want a statement from me. They've bothered Simon before and what got him upset for two hours is how they pronounce his name, which was very entertaining. We actually only see each other at school, which is logical, but whatever.

I'm lying in my room, wide awake once again. But this time I'm sick because of tomorrow. I don't want to say that I'm not, nor that I am. I know that doesn't sound very logical, but why be logical? Someone's knocking at the door. I look at the clock, almost midnight. Who wants anything from me at this hour? And why didn't Malin stop them? She usually does that too, no matter who it is and especially at this time. I go to the door and open it. Simon is standing in front of it, for whatever reason.