Conditions - A Wilmon Story

Five

"Simon" he grabs my hand, but before he can take it, I pull it away. "Don't touch me" I go to the door and open it full throttle. There is a woman standing outside, she has blonde hair tied in a ponytail and is wearing a black suit, Malin I assume. I give her a quick nod to be friendly, but then run away. 

Why is this idiot doing this? I run through the exit, across the forecourt, through the front gate and down the street. I can't think straight right now, it just doesn't work. 

Pov Wilhelm
"Did anything happen?" Malin looks questioningly after Simon and then to me. "No, all good" I force myself to smile, go into the room and close the door. 

I'm such an idiot, such a miserable idiot. How can a person be so stupid? I smack my forehead lightly a few times, hoping to think of something else, but there's always only one thought. 

Simon. 
Simon. 
Simon. 

I slowly sit on the floor. I want to scream. I want to get rid of all this somehow, but I also don't want everyone to know. I lie down. The floor is freezing, but that's what I need right now. 

After a while, a phone ringing pulls me out of my thoughts. I take my phone and look at it. Erik. What does he want now? And why Facetime again? I push the green button. "Erik, what..." he interrupts me. 

"Did you guys have a fight?" he looks at me questioningly. "What are you talking about?" I look at my phone confused. "Simon?" "Oh" great. "And how do you know that now?" "Little and apparently very forgetful brother, Simon kind of fizzed off pretty suddenly after you guys talked a little louder and you almost cried" he pauses for a moment and then almost yells into his phone: "Next to Malin!" 

"Oh" "You finally remember?!" I nod slowly. "That's fine then. So?" I hesitate. "I... broke up with him..." I finally say. "You what?! Are you stupid?! Why?" he really gets on my nerves sometimes. "It's better that way" "That's no justification" I'm also aware of that. "I know" I say softly. "Then why did you do it?" he looks at me questioningly. 

"I can't do this" "What can't you?" "It's not possible to be with him. It's also not possible when everyone has an opinion about it and we have to meet in even more secret places than before" I finally say. "I'll tell you something now" Erik is sitting on a chair in his room. "You certainly remember Andreas, don't you?" I nod. 

"Breaking up with him was my biggest mistake and I only made it because Mom wasn't thrilled about it and she wanted me to stop seeing him. And believe me I had plenty of opportunities to see him anyway, but I didn't do it because I thought it was better that way, for everyone. It was better that way for mom's nerves, yes, but definitely not for me, you missed him too and the way I knew him, he felt shitty afterwards too. So pull yourself together and hold on to him. He's good for you." he finishes his monologue. 

Did I say before that he annoys me? If so, I'm really sorry. I love him so much. "And hey, you haven't been yourself for years, around other people, you are with him whether you want it or not" he adds. "It's okay, I got it." "Then I can go to sleep in peace now" he grins contentedly. "Bye" "Bye" he hangs up. There was definitely more to that call than screaming. 

Pov Simon
"Simon? Is everything okay?" I say nothing. Mom looks at me from top to bottom. "Did you walk all the way home? You could have called me." Only now do I realize that I'm all wet and completely out of breath. "I just needed this" I say and go to my room to change. 

As I do this, I keep thinking about Wille. What is he doing right now? How is he? I know he didn't really want that, the break up, so he probably doesn't have to be doing so well. 

Dry again, I go into the kitchen, take a glass, fill it with water and sit on the sofa next to Mom. "If you want to talk about it, you can always do it, but you don't have to." She smiles. I lean on her shoulder. "Thanks"

After Sara came home, I went back to my room and went to bed. I probably won't really be able to sleep. After lying awake in bed for a few hours, I get up. I walk quietly to Mom's room and knock cautiously. A few more rays of light emerge from under the door. "Yes?" for some reason i shocked when i hear it. 

Yeah well, probably because it's almost three o'clock and Mom's still awake too. I slowly open the door. "Mom?" I whisper towards the bed where she is sitting cross-legged, holding a book and smiling at me like she always does. "Simon. Are you not well?" she looks at me worried. 

Usually at this time I only go to her when I'm sick or have a fever or something and yes, I still do, simply because I don't like being alone then either. "I'm fine... actually not, it's a bit more complicated than that... actually it's pretty simple" I stutter to myself. "Sit down and tell me calmly" she points next to her. 

I sit down, put my head on her shoulder and start talking. From the messages I got from certain people to Wille and our conversation about why I went home in the rain afterwards and now I can't sleep because of it. 

She pulls me into a tight hug and tries to calm me down as I'm crying now. It's all coming together right now, everything that's happened in the last few days. After a few minutes I calmed down again, but the whole thing just felt incredibly good.