Summer Sunshine (bxb)

Chapter 4. Paninis and Paint

Salty water closes over Summer's head. He lets himself sink for a few minutes before he swims for the surface. It's early morning and the water is chilly. The sky is splashed with color in shades of pink and apricot and the first time in months Summer has the urge to paint it.

He knows how he would do it. He would use gouache to get the vivid softness of the colors just right. He can envision it so clearly.
But he didn't bring his paints with him and he is still scared. He hasn't been able to paint since his maman died. So much color disappeared from his world at her death. He is still learning to get it back.

A wave of grief washes over him at the thought of his maman. Memories surge in. Painful in their vivid clarity. It hurts so much and so suddenly that his breath catches.

Summer slips back beneath the water in an attempt to drown them out. It doesn't work yet somehow, beneath the waves, in the gentle underwater lighting, everything seems softer. The grief less sharp, the memories full of a happier nostalgia.
He feels a little lighter as if the water saw his grief and wanted to help share the burden.

The house is quiet when Summer gets back after his swim. No one else is there and he briefly wonders where Caleb went. It's only been a few days but he's gotten used to having him around. Summer wonders if this is what it's like to have a sibling.

The memory of the water and sunrise is still playing through his mind so after his shower he collects the paper and crayons Sam gave him and carries them out to the kitchen table.

He lets Waffle loose in the house and she explores around the kitchen while he makes coffee. He's never been able to focus for long without coffee. He's been using it to self medicate his ADHD since he started college.

Summer hesitates when he reaches for one of his mom's many colorful coffee mugs. He usually picks yellow, pink or occasionally blue but he finds himself wanting to use the purple one instead. It reminds him of Caleb.

Summer sets his mug of coffee down on the table and sits down tucking one of his legs beneath him. He's never been able to sit properly on a chair and it used to drive his teachers crazy.

He spreads out the colors he wants. Oranges, pinks, yellows, blues and white.
Rolling a crayon under his fingertips he stares at the blank paper trying to visualize what he wants to create on its pristine surface. A blank surface is always intimidating at first and today especially so.

After a long moment he slowly picks up a light orange crayon. Color begins to flood the page as he works. In his mind he's back at the beach in those happy moments when nothing mattered but the beauty around him. He loses himself in his art.

The banging of a screen door brings Summer back to the present. He slips his nearly completed page back into the pad of paper as Caleb comes into the kitchen.

"Hey," Caleb says. He opens the paper bag he is carrying and takes out a large chocolate chip walnut cookie. He holds it out to Summer. "Here."

"Thanks," Summer says taking it with obvious delight. Caleb congratulates himself on making the right cookie choice.

"I went to the cafe not far from here to write," he says taking a cookie for himself out of the bag. "I like the baked goods they have there."

"They are all from the local bakery. I can take you there sometime if you want."

Bakery date! Caleb thinks. "Sure," is all he says out loud. "Have you had lunch?"

"Oh," Summer glances at the kitchen clock. "No." He hadn't even noticed it was past noon.

"I'll make some for you."

"I can help you," Summer offers.

Caleb looks doubtful. "I've heard about your kitchen escapades, Summer."