The Grace of a Thousand Stars (PREQUEL)

Chapter 37- Regrets

"What in the world are you talking about!? Are you listening to yourself right now!? You just got here, and now you're already leaving!? Didn't you miss us when you were in America!?"

"I can ask you the same thing."

"What?"

"How many times have you called me?"

"I-I don't know, why would I remember that-"

"Three times. One to congratulate me on winning the best actor of the year award. Two to tell me that Abuela passed away. And three to tell me that Abuelo passed away. Other than those three times, it's only ever been me that's called you, and most of the time you were too busy to even pick up the damned phone."

"I-I... I didn't mean to; You know that I'm busy-"

"-And I've apparently got all the time in the world? For you, to impress you, I've been working like an animal! Accepting whatever script came my way, losing sleep to memorise my lines, and becoming people that I don't know all to impress you! But you never even look at me!"

"Alaric, don't shout." She sobbed out.

"Everything I do, I do for you! But you don't like me! You don't want me! I'm an embarrassment to you!"

"Don't say that, please. I don't love anyone as much as I love you..." She says she listens to me, but every time she speaks, she proves otherwise.

"I act. And I act. And I act. So much that Alaric Clemente doesn't even exist anymore, there are so many characters living in my head, but none of them can seem to understand why Alaric had to suffer the way you made him suffer. Am I not your son? Am I not your blood?" Like her, I couldn't hide the tears, but unlike hers, my tears had the right to fall.

"Have I not done enough!? How much more of myself must I sacrifice for you to finally act like my mother!? How desperate do I have to be to have your love!? I'm your child, goddamn it! I'm not a stranger, but a child that you yourself created!"

I screamed, and I sobbed all the anguish out to her that day. 

But whether she changed after hearing my words didn't really matter, because that was the day I stopped caring, and stopped yearning for her love.

"I'm leaving today. And nothing you do will stop me." Sniffling, I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand, retreating with my bags as she took slow steps towards me, opening and closing her mouth to find something to say.

But she knew then that it was too late.

"Goodbye, mother."

And I left without looking back even once.

***

"Are you planning on sleeping forever?" The sunlight danced along her skin, the stars shining in her eyes, and the radiant smile that I loved more than anything washed all my nightmares away.

I didn't need that mother. Nowadays, those nightmares have become nothing more than troubling memories thanks to her. I wake up and I feel warmth that replaces the coldness of my nightmares with nothing but a smile that she has just for me.