State of Mind(HIATUS.4.S2)

8

Marcy's POV:

 Sasha looks nice today this time they came over, this time i felt really excited to see her, i mean im excited to see them both but im just now realizing this excitement i have to see Sasha, we've been texting more frequently and she makes sure she has time for me, even when she's busy she takes the time to text me back

Anne and Sasha are staying over for a few days this time cause their work was dealt with these past few weeks, they made sure they could, im glad, i also have been getting caught up with mine, They said that I help them relax and get their mind off of work so they asked to stay a few days

Of course i didnt mind and i hadnt had an episode in a while now so it should be fine. made me worry if it'll happen during their stay but they saw it before so i guess it'll be fine

I dont know the sleeping arrangements they agreed upon but they wouldn't allow me to sleep on the couch so Anne took the guest bedroom and Me and Sasha shared my room, why it wasnt the other way around? dont ask me but i can say i didnt want any changes

Sasha was in bed and i had a spare mattress i was going to sleep on but decided draw only turning on the tablet part, the light wasnt bright enough to wake Sasha off and while drawing the thoughts came back

It was only about and hour and a half later when i heard my name being called through my blaring headphones, I turned in my chair to see Sasha sitting up in bed chuckling staring at me

"Huh? What?"

"I've been calling your name for the past 15 minutes haha, im surprised you're not deaf with the volume of those earbuds"

i agreed sort of chuckling as well

"Why aren't you Asleep? did the light wake you up? sorry i can-"

"No no it didn't wake me up, i didn't really sleep in the first place, i mean i was just mainly TRyiNG to go to sleep but failed, i dont sleep well so its ok dont worry"

I nodded my head understanding and sat there in silence unsure of what to say, it was weird sharing a room with my childhood crush and now seeing how much she has grown, i dont know how to feel, on top of all of those other feelings i just cant figure out what these feelings are towards her or what to say

We were always compatible, friendship wise and we did have some moments in Amphibia, After moving i jsut slowly started shutting off my emotions to get rid of the feelings towards my frieds, whether it was Love one way or another toward them i couldnt have it

After this time i just dont know how to act towards them, me and anne got along and so did me and Sasha but...sorta different than me and Anne, Anne was more of a protector, like a big sister even tho im older than both of them, But Sasha.... i cant name what out relationship status was

"-arcy?"

"Huh? oh sorry, my bad i sorta zoned out...

"No its ok"

"What was it you were saying?"

"Oh well i was just asking what you were drawing"

I looked at the part i was working on and started explaining my comic to Sasha, she was interested and during my talk she came up behind me and leaned on my chair resting her arms on my shoulder and her head on top of mine

I felt weird, Like i...Did like her? still? but also i hated something about that, like i resented her, as i explained more i soon realized why, i didnt like the feeling cause of how i made myself lose feelings and how it'd make me vulnerable, how it opened a door to me ruining things again