State of Mind(HIATUS.4.S2)

3

Marcy's POV:

"Yeah, ok um well, when y'all figure out where and when y'all wanna meet then tell me, any questions and stuff like that"

They looked the same as I remember, tho Sasha cut her hair they're both the same

'Its sad to think they thought you pitied them, They should have a lil more backbone, Anyways you're overthinking haha this is good for your boring life'

We exchanged numbers and they seemed pretty thrilled about it, we ended our conversation and said good night to each other and I hopped in the car

"Uuuugh!!!! Fuck!"

I yelled in the car and hit my head on the steering wheel groaning loudly

"What the hell!? I say I'm not gonna run into them and that I'll stay out of their lives for the better what do I do?? I jump right back in!!"

I layed my head on my hands which held onto the steering wheel, I felt so nervous and not ready for this, I also regretted it but at the same time glad I did

'technically they're the ones who approached you first'

"Not helping. What will they think of me?? I'm a total mess! I haven't even got my place ready and my fridge is freaking empty besides some drinks! I'm unstable and shit- what will they do if they found out about you??!"

I panicked and my breathing quickened, I gripped the steering wheel as my heart raced out of place and felt like it was in my throat

'look. You're overwhelmed at the moment so take a sip of that stupid drink you like. I'll make sure to try and not mess up anything but can't promise you shit.'

I sipped in the flask and breathed deep breathes trying to calm down, I got better a little bit and stepped out for a smoke

I stayed in that one spot for about an hour then left when I felt at ease and stabler than earlier

"You think they hate me? .... well y'know, you but as well as me"

'wow you're actually being sentimental right now, well me definitely but you they probably just see you as their small little Marcy they always protected'

"Ugh..."

I felt out of it and dizzy, Like the adrenaline in my system was going 200 mph, I felt really buzzed and my heart pounded out of my chest

This really happened. This actually happened. I...I can't believe it, me, it happened to me...why?? Why does like hate me??

I kept contemplating and thinking on the way home and sadly tonight the traffic was slow, it kept me in my thoughts and scenarios which made my stomach hurt

Getting home I didn't even bother eating, I just layed down on the couch and regretted every moment of the event

That led to memories of Amphibia and a huge wave of guilt hit me, I don't know how I will face them, how and if I will

Should I bale? Say something came up, I ... can't tho, I mean half of me wants to do this but the rest is staying in place

What will come out of this reunion?

'you have a serious problem.'

"Shut up."

'Just saying-'

"Shat Aup!"
____________

Another stupid day I woke up. Why I have to wake up everyday to a shitty world I have no idea

Why the hell does it have to be so bright at what?...6 in the morning....6??? Why the hell did I wake up early??

'Nope. We have stuff to do and I wanna get it over with so come on let's go. Up and At 'em'