Zoro reluctantly unzipped the bag, revealing a small, wriggling bundle wrapped in a soft blanket. The baby's cries grew louder as the fabric was peeled away, exposing a pair of tiny, flailing arms and a scrunched-up face.
"Oh my... It's a baby. You got a baby? And you're just carrying it around in a bag? Do you have any idea what babies need? They need constant care and attention, not to mention they poop, and they need to be fed, and..."
Zoro's expression turned from clueless to horrified as Sanji's tirade continued. "Hey, don't get all worked up, Curly," Zoro muttered, looking awkward with the baby now in his arms. "It's not what you think."
Sanji raised an eyebrow, folding his arms. "Well, I'm all ears, Marimo. Explain."
Zoro scratched the back of his head, still a bit flustered. "Umm... Will you help me change its diaper first?"
・・﹒﹒・﹒・﹒・﹒・﹒﹒・・
Luffy was lounging on the deck, napping in the sun, and Chopper was concocting some strange concoction in the galley. Nami was in the crow's nest, keeping an eye on their course, while Robin was engrossed in a book.
Zoro and Sanji suddenly bolted from the kitchen, each clutching the mysterious bag as if their lives depended on it. They sprinted through the ship, narrowly avoiding collisions with their bewildered crewmates.
"Hey, what's going on?" Usopp called out, trying to make sense of the chaotic scene.
Sanji and Zoro, now in the hallway leading to the bathroom, exchanged frantic glances. Without a word, they burst through the bathroom door, slammed it shut, and locked it behind them. The rest of the crew stared at the closed door in utter confusion.
Meanwhile, inside the bathroom, Sanji had taken the baby out of the bag, laid it down on a clean surface, and glanced at Zoro. "Do you even have any supplies for a baby?" He asked.
"Well, no, not exactly. I thought you might have some baby stuff lying around." Zoro responded.
Sanji's irritation boiled over. "You think I keep baby supplies on a pirate ship? You really are an idiot."
The swordsman clenched his teeth, clearly not in the mood for Sanji's trademark insults. "Look, are you going to help or not?"
The duo stared down at the squirming bundle. "Alright, let's start with changing that diaper. You did at least bring some diapers, right?"
Zoro's face turned an even deeper shade of red as he mumbled, "I might have forgotten those..."
Sanji's eye twitched, his patience hanging by a thread. "Unbelievable. Fine, let's see what we can do." With no diapers in sight, Sanji began to search the bathroom for any makeshift solutions. He opened cabinets and drawers, rummaging through towels, tissues, and various toiletries.
Zoro, on the other hand, awkwardly watched the baby, "Shh, tiny human," he mumbled, his voice oddly gruff for such a delicate task. "You gotta settle down now." Zoro leaned in, attempting to give the baby a reassuring kiss on the forehead, but he misjudged the distance and ended up planting the kiss on the baby's nose, causing both of them to blink in surprise.
Undeterred, Zoro was now bobbing the baby up and down. "There, there," he said, his voice filled with determination but lacking the usual gentleness. "We'll figure this out together."
As Sanji's search grew more desperate, he finally stumbled upon a stack of face towels tucked away in one of the cabinets. "Aha! These should work for now," he declared triumphantly as he grabbed a handful.
The baby seemed to find Zoro's antics not soothing. With each exaggerated shush and wobbly sway, the cries only grew louder. Just when he was about to reach his breaking point, Sanji, stepped in, gently taking the baby from Zoro's arms and cradling it expertly. "It's alright, my love," Sanji cooed, his melodious voice immediately calming the baby. "Daddy's got this."
After some trial and error, they managed to undress the baby. They carefully lifted the baby, and began the delicate process of changing the improvised diaper.
Zoro couldn't help but grin mischievously. "Daddy's got this, huh?" he teased, raising an eyebrow.
Sanji shot him an exasperated look. "Yes, Mossy, I'm the daddy here. Got a problem with that?"
Zoro feigned innocence, though his eyes sparkled with amusement. "No problem at all, Curly. Just thought it was funny hearing you call yourself 'Daddy.'"
A small smile tugged at the corner of Sanji's lips. "Well, someone has to be the responsible one around here."
Zoro chuckled, leaning in to steal a quick kiss from Sanji. "You're doing an amazing job, Daddy."
Sanji's face turned bright red after Zoro's unexpected kiss. He blinked in surprise, his mind racing for a witty comeback. "You call that a kiss?"
Zoro chuckled, clearly enjoying getting a rise out of the cook. He leaned in for another attempt, but this time, Sanji was prepared. He turned his head swiftly, narrowly avoiding Zoro's lips.
"Ah-ah-ah, one surprise attack is enough for today. You'll have to try harder than that if you want another taste of this perfection!"
With a sly grin, Sanji safely disposed of the dirty diaper, putting on the towel that he managed to fashion something resembling a diaper out of. "There," Sanji declared, holding up his creation. Leaving Zoro grumbling about missed opportunities.
Once the diaper situation was resolved, Sanji and Zoro turned their attention to the baby's other needs. Sanji, despite his earlier frustration, was surprisingly adept at soothing the infant. He cradled the baby in his arms, gently rocking it back and forth while making soft, comforting sounds.
Zoro couldn't help but secretly admire the scene unfolding before him. His tough exterior concealed a hidden affection that had slowly crept into his heart. He couldn't suppress a quiet chuckle at the sight.
Caught off guard by Zoro's affectionate gaze, Sanji couldn't resist teasing him, "What are you staring at?"
"Nothing," Zoro replied, concealing his true feelings with a sly grin that masked the secret longing he held for Sanji.
After what felt like an eternity, the baby finally settled down, its tiny eyes fluttering closed as it drifted off to sleep in Sanji's arms. The tension that had filled the bathroom seemed to dissipate.
"I can't believe you want me to put him back in the bag," Sanji whispered as he carefully placed the sleeping infant back into the bag, making sure he was snug and comfortable.
"You still have some explaining to do, but for now, I'm going to leave with the baby. You come out a few minutes later, okay?" Sanji whispered, his voice laced with a touch of mystery. Zoro nodded in agreement, his heart pounding in anticipation.
With the baby once again safely hidden from view, Sanji cautiously unlocked the bathroom door and stepped out, leaving Zoro alone.
A few minutes later, Zoro emerged from the bathroom, his eyes scanning the curious and bewildered faces of his crewmates.
Luffy, the ever-curious captain, locked eyes with Zoro and couldn't contain his curiosity any longer. "What's going on, you guys? Why did you lock yourselves in the bathroom?"
Zoro glanced over the crew, but there was no sign of Sanji. He figured Sanji had gone to the men's quarters with the baby. Taking a deep breath, Zoro decided to brave the situation.
"Umm...uh... We-we... were making love," Zoro boldly lied.
The crew's jaws collectively dropped. Even the usually unflappable Franky couldn't keep his jaw from hitting the floor. Nami's eyes widened, and she blushed furiously, while Brook nearly dropped his violin.
Luffy's eyes widened in disbelief. "Making love? Like, love-love?"
Zoro nodded, maintaining his poker face despite the growing urge to burst into laughter. "Yeah, Luffy, love-love. It was... intense."
