✓ jeez.

32 | the ending

—— a month ago, after seohan's backstory.

"yiyi, i want to tell you something," is a phrase that yiying was terrified to hear, but still knew that she had to face so she kept a brave face on and nodded— letting her boyfriend talk as the kitchen island separated both the couple who did their own things.

"i want to talk this throughly with you okay? and i'm gonna respect all your decisions made today okay? and before we start this conversation, i just want to say i love you and that you're not the reason for all my decisions i'm making and telling you right now." the idol tilts her head, confusion permanently jammed to her head as nicholas speaks from his heart.

"i'm transferring universities— from tokyo university to the national taiwan university and.. the reason for my transfer is that my mom wants me to stay around her and my relatives as they feel like it's gonna be their last years on earth and i thought long and hard before telling you that i've decided that i would transfer." nicholas started, and yiying nodded, staying at her spot in front of him as she remained silent like she was told to do so.

"but the thing is that, i think that we both can handle long distant relationships right now— especially since you have a job here in korea that rocketing currently and i'm moving to taiwan for my studies—" he rambles on, afraid to get to the whole reason why they were having this talk. but then he hears it, the words that were stuck in his throat like sweet sticky honey.

"are you implying that you want us to break up?"

nicholas stares at yiying's face, memorizing each feature of her face like it was his last day on earth and the only thing he wanted to see before human population disappeared into thin air was just her. he takes a deep breath in, "yes."

saying goodbye to someone is a hard thing to do, especially when you know them from a very long time. since middle school, yiying alway had nicholas with him by her side and by the time they had reached university, they were separated but still promised and kept in touch with each other via the internet (god bless the internet during those times).
but now, everything was happening all over again— saying goodbye to the one person you love that much that you would rather find yourself hurting than to let go but yiying was quite different within a relationship, despite her hurting and not wanting to let go, she still does let go anyway.

yiying finds herself in a difficult situation as the car ride is silent throughout the ride towards the airport, the place that the idol is starting to dread.

euijoo is awkwardly moving around his chair as the driver, trying to find a comfortable spot but unsuccessfully, doesn't seem to find a comfortable spot with the atmosphere around them. he can't stop fidgeting with the car wheel, picking at the stray yarns that held the leather together like picking at his nails.
he's also tapping on the wheel anxiously, afraid that his best friend who was sitting next to the ex boyfriend was gonna start crying based on what he can see from her glistening eyes.

they arrive at the airport, and the silence only continues from unloading the car from nicholas's singular luggage to walking him to the opening gate.

that's when yiying breaks down.
and that's when nicholas's feet froze to the ground, trying his best to restrict his own tears upon seeing the girl hurt by his own actions of moving.

"yi.." they broke up on neutral terms, terms that meant both sides allowed the break up to go through but when it comes to saying goodbye, everything from regret and guilt comes back to his eyes— he tries to reach out, but stops mid-way, afraid that if he does reach out, he will only find himself purposely missing his flight just for her.

i've come to realize, that i would sacrifice a lot for you.

"don't. please, just let me cry for a bit," she muttered out as euijoo gives them space, patting yiying on the shoulder for encourage before whispering that he'll be waiting for her in the car.

nicholas's eyes are filled with regret and desperation. his extended warmth pulling away and finding its way back to him.  "yi.. " he stops himself for a while before continuing the sentence, shutting his eyes as he held his language close to him.
it wasn't like he was gonna regret deciding that he chose to leave her, but he felt like he was even with the promise to meet up again.

yiying doesn't stop her tears, but takes a step forward to embrace the boy she's loved so much into her arms for one, last embrace before departure broke both their hearts that they would have to heal on their own.
the announcer on the giant speaker all over the airport announces the gate check-in is now open for the people boarding the flight to taiwan and nicholas finally returns the hug— not caring about the tears that stain his shirt because he's also finding it hard to hold back tears.

"i love you." he presses a kiss to her forehead before letting go, sealing the last meeting they will have as their hearts break into millions of pieces.

even if the world ends tomorrow, i'd still chose to spend my day with you.

—— 🏹 author's notes
soooo
i first wanna apologize