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The strum of the raindrops outside the hospital door was drawing. It was like it was pulling her in a trance humming her name. Such a bittersweet moment. Scotlynd felt like a shell of herself encompassed by loneliness. The phone calls got shorter, and the talks more brief. He was distancing himself and he was killing her. She physically felt like she was dying inside. The love she had for Sevyn almost had her ready to be content being a prison wife. Because she never thought she could love another like him. He may not have known it but his love brought her so much pain, like her Maw Maw said.
"You good Scottie too hottie? It's raining hard out there, you got an umbrella?" Tish her coworker asked her.
"Yeah girl," she chuckled, swiping her misty eyes. "Just got lost in my thoughts."
Scotlynd made small conversation before placing her bag over her head and making a run for her car. She no longer had the luxury of just riding; she had to learn a lot by herself. Her refusal to move home, back with her uncle, forced her to grow up. Scotlynd threw her bag on the passenger seat of her new Hyundai Elantra. With her head back on the seat she cried from the pit of her stomach. Her hands hit the wheel over and over as she felt herself crumble from within.
Even though her heart didn't believe it, her mind had her feeling that she was the reason for Sevyn's demise. If she would have never come back then Zoo would have never been killed; there would have been no case. Saide was right she thought as she pulled off into the morning air.
"Hello?... Mama, you there," she asked as the end of the call was muffled with movement. She sat at the red light waiting for a response.
"Yeah, sorry Scottie. Bring yo butt here and tell her. Tell her!" Scotlynd listened as her mother reprimanded who only she could think was Koni. Her sweet baby boy.
"Koni? What's wrong," Scotlynd asked, trying to hide the sadness in her voice.
"I— I got in trouble at school... I hit this boy with a chair."
"A chair!" She shrieked."Koni, why would you do that?"
"Why would you leave me? Scottie, you were my best friend... Do you hate me, is that why you left? Do you want a new little brother? I didn't mean to be bad," he said in a small voice. Scotlynd's lip began to shake as she felt the emotional tears. Damn, she couldn't catch a break.
"No, no Koni. You are perfect, okay? There is nothing you can ever do to keep me away from you. I just... I just," Scotlynd couldn't comprehend what she was doing here. "Koni give the phone to momma okay? I love you," Scotlynd pulled over because at this moment she was in full-out sobs. Why did it seem like she was life's regret? She was walking up a mountain that just kept growing.
Yes, Scott— what's wrong baby?"
"They messed me up... Mama they messed me up," she choked. Her hands gripped the steering wheel as she felt everything spinning.
