Sweet Innocence and Gentle Sin || 𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑

Chapter 13: Lacking Power Over Fate

I looked across the room and found the shadowsinger watching me from the opposite end. For a moment, I had to wonder if he was thinking the same thing as me. Almost two months... it didn't feel like it.

Maybe that was just because it was something so... so intense. It wasn't at the time—but the more I let it sit with me, the more I realized just how heavy it was. I left. I wasn't the same princess as a month ago—I don't even think I could call myself one anymore. Not if I didn't feel like one.

Who was I, then?

I couldn't stomach this loud bar anymore. Couldn't watch the smiling faces and laughter without feeling my heart sink deeper beneath the floorboards. I wanted out. Wanted to get out and run. Just run. As far as I could.

But I couldn't. I was stuck on the ground, my feathers trimmed so they could use me as a show. My uncles doing, and now it followed me everywhere I went. I bit down on the inside of my bottom lip and drew blood. What was I even thinking? I needed to get out of my own head for once.

The wind brushed my face with stray water from the light rainfall that came onto the patio. I pulled up my hood in case it got worse, but it didn't look like it was. The lightning was now far away, the thunder even farther. Whatever storm we found when arriving here was now leaving.

I leaned over the railing and looked down at the small stream that ran across and into the forest. From the looks of it, most of the year that brook was dry. I looked up at the mountains in front of me. The rocks looked like snow from down here, and all those tall trees reminded me of prickly fur.

I grumbled a sigh and dropped my head into my hands to rub my temples. If only I could take control of my mind and force it to do as I wished. That would make my life so much easier. But alas, I couldn't. I couldn't do much of anything.

It was funny, really. I was a princess—I was the crown princess. I outranked my own cousins. And yet, I didn't have control over anything. You'd think that I'd have all the power over people simply because of my status, but I didn't. Not here. Here I was simply another female High Fae.

I couldn't decide if I liked it better or hated it more. I wasn't used to having no power. It was like a slap to the face that left me in total shock. But I also liked it? Somehow? I thought it was fun—fun to not know what will happen next, to not feel like everything was superficial.

I rested my head on a hand, my elbow digging into the metal railing. Mother above, it was all so confusing. I let out a long sigh that brought steam to my face from how cold it was.

"What are you doing out here?" A voice asked from behind me. I turned around and leaned my back against the railing.

"I'm thinking," I said to Azriel, who stood a few feet away from me. The wind rustled his hair, which fell into his eyes.

He raised a brow. "About what?"

I tried to hide my tired eyes with a small smile. "I'm just thinking about life."

He walked over and leaned on the railing beside me. I could feel the warmth emanating off his skin. Like a walking furnace. It was nice.

"Do you need someone to talk to?" He asked.

I took a deep breath, brows knit. "I thought you didn't enjoy talking to me?"

"Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't."

"You're... very confusing."

He chuckled. "Should I apologize for it?"

I shook my head. "Apologies are important, and should be used only when necessary. That way, they actually mean something."