Chapter 13- James

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James felt really bad for the way he rejected Lily infront of everyone. However he truly did not like her anymore. The moment after the rejection the hall fell silent all looking  at the scene that fell in fron of them.

Lily started to cry and this made James feel really bad , but before he could explain himself she raced out of the great hall. For a minute he was wondering if he should go after her but it wasn't hhis place. a basket of chocolate on the table he never knew of those brands before. He ignored all of the questions coming at him not feeling hungry.

James was never hungry anymore because he had something muggles called an eating disorder and there was no cure in the wizarding or muggle world. However he never told anyone this not even his parents knew this. He made someone cry, James could have let her down easily but instead he was cruel. He had enough of the questions so he just got up and left the hall.

The day went smoothly really. He had DADA, charms and transfriguration. He did not bother to go down for lunch or dinner . Sirius offered to go to the kitchen and James used the excuse that he is feeling sick. 

James needed to clear his head so he decided to go for a stroll that night. Not taking his invisibility cloke with him and not caring if he got caught. He has the excuse for being a headboy and all but that would not last long.

He walked up the back staircase which leads to the astronomy tower it is the most peaceful place at the school people only go there for lessons. He opened the gigantic door and there was a small figure lending on the bar. Regulus. That night he felt a bit rebellious so he decided to say "It's beautiful isn't it." James said and the younger boy looked up shocked and he was glaring at him.

"Potter what do you want? Crying because you rejected Evans I mean why did you aren't you head over heals for her?"Regulus asked and James got reall annoyed 

"I really want people to stop that I don't like Evans i feel bad I rejected her because I know what it feels like to not be wanted!" James shouted angrily and he watched as Regulus looked up at him in shock. He has no idea why he opened up, Regulus could use it against him.

Regulus instead smiled at him softly "Yeah I know that feeling." Regulus said which shocked James wasn't he worshiped or something.

"But aren't you the Black heir?" James asked and he couldn't help but laugh bitterly which made Regulus frown

"Sadly." James imagined that right? Regulus not wanting to be the Black heir was news to him.

"I mean come on have you seen me not that you would be reall paying any attention to me but I don't have many friends plus it's a lot of work I understand why Sirius got tired." He smiled and this is probably the first time he saw Regulus have a general smile. 

"ok so why are you here Potter I never saw you come here before so what got you all tangled up?" Regulus asked the softness disappearing from his body. James had two options he could either open up to Regulus and he might tell the whole school or just walk out of the door he decided on the first one and sat down next Regulus.

"You ever feel like the need to be perfect? I spend years going after Lily but after a while I am sure the feelings faded and it was more the need to be wanted. I know that it sounds ridiculous because there are other issues that are more-" James got interupted by Regulus

"Just because you think that others have it worse does not mean  that you can't have any problems  so yeas it does matter." James lost all words no one has ever talked to him like that especially not a Slytherin most people ask him for help and no one asks how he is doing but Regulus was being so kind as if he undesrtood.

"You won't tell anyone right?" He can't help but asking and Regulus smiled softly responding with a quick no. .

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An hour or so later he decided to go back to his dorm smiling. He had fun that night hoping that Regulus and james would meet up again at some point. All his friends where asleep so he slipped under his covers trying to make the least amount of noise as possible not wanting to wake up his friends . That night he had no dream and he was happy.

In the morning he ate a lot of food so it was one of his good days. He hated being called picky it made him feel  bad when the reason really was because of his eating disorder. But today he could eat he didn't think that Regulus could have been such a help.He debated everything that Sirius had told him about regulus.

"Why are you so smily?" Asked sirius

"it's nothing."
"Ah so it's a girl here that moony our prongs is all grown up now."

"No Pads there is not a girl I just feel happy." He responded annoyed that the only topic with his friends is always romance he had enough of that for now. He did love love but after lily he needed a break from all of this romantic shit.

James expected a lot of things but he would not have expected a slap in the face by Mary she was probably still mad because of yesterday. It felt like everything froze in that moment and he lost all words " You will apologise to Lily" She stated as if it was a fact and James dared to say 

" I didn't do antything wrong how come when she rejects me thats ok but when roles are reseversed it's bad?" 

Another slap " You rejected her in a real harsh way!" She screamed at him and the whole room started to stare 

" Oh so telling me to die is not harsh? Mary that is very hypocritical you should be better than this." 

"Oh you shit you  little misogynistic shit." 

"Oh my god please enlighten me on what I should have done  are you sure that you are not the one in love with Lily?" He said cruelly and that made her turn red and there where people laughing.

"Show the mudblood to respect you Potter!" He heard  Mulciber shouting from the other end of the room and James was sick of that word why do they need it . 

So James marched up to the table and punched Him on the nose and it started to bleed a lot but he didn't care.

"MR POTTER  TO MY OFFICE IMMEDIATLY!" the booming voice of Dumbledore came across the hall.

James followed him to his office.

"Mr Potter we will be calling your parents in which out of all the things you did I never had to call them in because it was fun and games. I am sorry Mr Potter now wait until your parents arive.

10 minutes later his mother came through th floo shooting James a dissapointed look before she sat down next to him.

"So Mrs Potter your son here started a fight-"

"Which would not have happened if Mulciber did not call Mary a mudblood." HE interpupted angry as ever

"YEs and he will be punished for it but Iwas talking about the insident before-"
"Im sorry for not liking evans?"

"Mr Potter leave my office I want  to have a nice chat with your mother if you will let me."

James was as angry as ever and locked himself in the bathroom annoyed. He needed to talk to Regulus is helped the other day so he waited until Regulus walked pastand then he pulled him by the arm in to the bathroom.

"What the fuck Potter!" He wisper shouted "Sorry Regulus I just need to talk to you it helped yesterday
 

  

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