Jello Fight

6. Hopeful

Breakfast was well. It allowed me to eat three pieces of bacon, a quarter cup of hash browns, and two slices of banana bread. Sammy talked the whole way through, I don't even know how she ate so much without catching her mouth full of food.
   After we finished eating Sammy went to my room to change, while I packed lunch, made mom and dad their own plates of what they like, and put the rest away for tonight and hopefully the next three or four days.

   Sammy did her face and hair while I packed my school work up as well as Sammy's even thought all her papers are blank.
   "Do you have to do that Matty? The teachers don't even actually look at it anymore." Sammy asked, trying to deflect my desire for her to succeed, as I set our bags at the ends of the hall.
   Before I walk to my parents room I peak my head back into my room and say, "Yes, Sammy. I do." I didn't say, I want to see your success.
   I hear her grumble out a 'fine' before closing my door.

   I sneak into my parents room to see them in a mess of blankets, they still have yesterday's clothes on and mom has makeup smeared all over her face. Dad is drooling, but dad always drools. His body is twisted oddly and he is holding onto mom's special purse.
   I wrote a note, 'your food is in the oven, your specials.
   Love Matt.' And taped it to their door.

   "When they wake up they'll see it." I say to myself, "Hopefully."
I look at them one more time, light pushing through the slightly open blinds and landing on my parents sleeping bodies.
   The door closes quietly with my hand pressed to it then Sammy hollers from the front door, "Hurry it up!"
   I sprint down the hall to my bag, down the three stairs to my shoes and the front door and out it.
   Sammy closes her door to the running car, I scramble to the passenger side, plopping down.

   "Close the door lady!" Sammy yells at me and I do. Then she drives. At the stop sign I say, "That could have woken my parents."
   "They should be awake already." She reply's.
   "Yeah, but I could have gotten in trouble." Still stressed from the experience.
   Sammy quickly looks at me, "Sammy, eyes on the road."
   "Matty, your parents wouldn't have cared that I spent the night without asking. Okay? Danica's gone. We can be crazy and your parents really won't mind."

   But just because Danica is gone doesn't mean they don't care about what I do anymore, right?
   "I know, but I'd much rather tell them before they come to the conclusion." I start to put on my shoes and Sammy laughs an argumentative laugh and she looks at me again, this time we are not at a red anything.
She took her eyes off the road. I thought, hurt by the action.

   As she looks back to the road she says, "Matt, your parents would let you come home to them drunk, every night now that Danica's gone.
   I quickly intervened, "I would never do anything like that." But I was too quiet.
   Sammy didn't look at me or say anything, neither did I, so the car ride was silent after that.

   When we pull into the school parking lot there was plenty of space, only six cars were already here. I brushed my still slightly damp hair and threw the brush into the back seat. I unbuckled and got out, shrugging my bag on. Sammy was reapplying lipgloss.
   "See you third Sammy." I said, inertly hopeful.

   "Period, bye Matty." She turned to me and we both smiled at each other, then I closed her car door and walked into school. Just another empty space without Danica.
   "I miss you Danny."
I know what I'll do. I'll write her a letter, but she might...

   I slammed into a closed classroom door. Rubbing my face, I tried to open it, "Locked."
   So I went to the office and did my early work there.

   Still empty, without Danny.

   I don't know how full I am of hope, I also don't know how long I can stay hopeful.

   What can I even hope for?

Thank you so much for reading.

And back to my usual pleading.

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Have a glorious day or night.