5. Patience

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   After two weeks of settling into dorms there has been some calm, finally. Not in the dorms, not at all, but classes started three days ago. So getting a break from the dorms has felt great.
I don't understand how we can go to school and party the whole time after. I certainly cannot. I could try, but there is absolutely no way, that I can stay up for any more than two days straight.
    I wouldn't be able to function.
   Jack can last about three full days straight.

When I chose this college, I knew what I was getting into. But I really didn't.

I was told how Wedderdams was different but actually experiencing it is a whole level up from my imagination. And I think that the people here are just a bit special. There all here for a reason, their either really smart or very talented.
   I feel like I'm just not that good. What came over the school board to enroll me here? My hardest was enough for high school but it seems like my best here is just really not enough.
   I need to work a little bit harder and I might not be bothered as much.

   Right now I'm working on homework, and studying for the quiz that is in two days for English 101. Only Miley is still in the dorm, she got out of class a bit late and is almost done getting ready for the party on the eastern border of the city. It started almost three hours ago.
    She walked over to the body mirror, that just had to be right by my desk. She messes with her hair and turns to me.

   "How long have you been doing that?" She asked me with a worried tone.
   I looked up at her with hard eyes, "I've been studying for nearly five hours now, with fifteen minute breaks throughout." I told her, not voicing the rest of my thoughts, I'm not even half way through.

   She looked at me as she held up her still cooling curling iron, "It's good that you have been taking breaks but you really should't do your work for that long. It's not healthy."
I don't care about what's healthy right now. I thought, getting triggered by the advice that I really don't need from her.
  When all I gave her was a, "Hmmhm." She wrapped the cord around the handle and said, "You should come to the party. You haven't participated in any since the first days of settling in."

  "No thank you. I really just want to finish this." I tried to dismiss her.

  She just looked at me and took in a deep breath, "I've seen what you eat in the morning, okay? I know you care about your health and at this point your posture has.." she straightened her hand in front of her then curved her fingers.
    I sat up straight again, my back cracking quietly but painfully, embarrassed that I had been slouching. If I had any less control over myself I would have scowled at her.

   "I really want to finish this first. And I need my sleep. NEED it." I said calmly, kindly and slightly humorous.

   I was expecting more from her but all you can do is lead the horse to water. I'm the horse and I'm not drinking. She sighed looking at me with concern, which left me with a curious feeling. Miley smiled at me and said, "okay," defeated, and turned around.
   She set the iron in the bag hanging on the wall beside her bed, grabbed her purple purse and shoved her feet into sandals. As the door opened she turned to me, "Danica?"
   "Yeah?"
   "Don't get lost in all, that. And if you do come, just know that nobody will judge you." She smiled again and twirled around the door into the hall.
"Bye." She waved and the door closed without a sound.
"Bye." I said back, to her imaginary figure that I couldn't even pretend to see.

I resumed my work and an hour later I was almost done. Miley's annoying talk gave me a boost, and for that I am silently grateful. But I am not going to the party.
I forgot to take a break earlier so I'm taking one now. I really don't know what to do so I sit at the desk laying my head on the papers that I really shouldn't lay on.
   I startle awake at the slam of a door. I sit up to find Jack pointing at the door and whispering to it.
   "Jack?"
   He jumped and turned around in the same motion and when he landed he held his palms level with his head and his knees slightly bent.
"At least we know you couldn't be a spy."

He smiled at my joke and walked over to me.
"You're really not going to the party."
"No. I really am not going to the party."
What is he getting at?
"Did Miley send you?" I asked accusingly.
"No, no. I asked her about you. And I need you to know, you would be surprised at how non-toxic the party is."
So he wants me to come too? Ugh.
"I'll tell you what I told Miley. I want to finish this and I need my sleep." He didn't say anything after a few seconds and I added, "I'm almost finished, and I'm really okay."

"I know that there are a few things on your mind and that this isn't the only reason you are choosing not to come but listen to me okay?"
"Sure."
"Thank you." He passed for a moment and unclenches his fists that I hadn't seen before. "I don't even know if you realize that your doing it but just know that you really don't need to set a good example anymore."

Matilda. He's talking about Matilda.
"Of course you think it's Matilda's fault. You always blame her."
"I don't think you understood what I said." He said softly.
Then my break alarm went off.
Beeb-bah-deed-ahh-beee.
"Time for me to get back to work. Please go, so I can concentrate." I asked with a calm, detached voice.
"I just have some note organizing to do then I can go to bed."

He took a couple steps back and nodded his head. He set something down on my bed and walked to the door.
Before he opened the door I said, "Bye."
Then before he shut the door, separating us from each other he said, "Good night." Glancing at me only once.
When it did shut, it closed with a small thud.

Another hour later and all of my things were back where they belong, tidy and complete. I had calmed down a lot and was ready to 'hit the sack', as my grandmother would say.
I changed into shorts and a T-shirt and brushed my teeth. When I walked back out of the bathroom Jessica Mae was laying on her bed. Heels on and purse covering her stomach.
I un-strapped her shoes, took her hair down, lifted her onto her bed the rest of the way and set her purse by the night stand. "Good night, Jessica."

On my bed there was an envelope, colored and pretty. Must be what Jack put there. I picked it up and opened it. It was from Matilda.
A birthday card to Jack.
She was talking to him through it. And I had never wanted a phone more.
It was beautiful, she is beautiful.
She wrote about Jack, herself, and me. I had never known felt this way about me. I didn't know that she understood me so well, how she understood Jack.

How could I have left without even saying bye to her.

I love her so much. Before this and now after it, I feel horrible.

I folded her card and put it back in the envelope. Put it under my pillow and clicked the lamp off. I laid down to wake up at five:thirty, tomorrow morning.

I am so ready for winter break.
"I am ready for winter break."
Then I fell asleep.

This one is a bit longer. I hope you liked it. I would love to get feed back, anything you have to say, please say it.
The writing in this chapter isn't the greatest in the art sense but quite a bit happened.

Thank you for reading, I truly appreciate it.

Oh my gosh!!! I did it again. I am so so so(multiplied by a million) so sorry. I missed Wednesday, today is Friday and I'm the evening.

Please forgive me. And thank you for reading eve though it's late.

Jello FightWhere stories live. Discover now