To Keep You

Eleven: Chaya

I envy those in prison. They are prisoners, and the world sees it. The guards treat them accordingly to their crimes. And everyone can see the metal bars that cage them in. My flesh is the bars of my cage, I am no more a prisoner than they are, and yet the world overlooks the cage I'm captured in.

Even tortured in...

God loves to make a joke out of me. I'm the monkey in His zoo, or even the elephant in His twisted circus. It wasn't always like this. We used to be family. His words were the air in my lungs, and He was my life. I lived, breathed, and would even have died for Him. But like every good story, it always has an end. Ours was not church bells and angels singing. No, our end went up in flames as chaos danced around us.

Even the devil laughed at us...

We were like a burning ship at sea, everyone had to save themselves. Or at least that's what He did. He left me to burn to nothing but ashes as I tried to save those who loved me.

"Ow!" As sharp as a blade, the palm of my hand sliced through a jagged piece of wood protruding out from the wooden wall. I had spent yet another cold night in this worse than bearable shed. It mustn't be any later than six in the morning, and instead of enjoying a fresh cup of coffee, I was climbing up the wall as if I were Spiderman himself. Sighing, I released my hold on the tiny holes in the wall and fell ungracefully back to the ground.

As I landed on my backside, my eyes darted upwards towards the prize I was climbing for. Through the wooden boards where the wall meets the ceiling, there is a crack of thin light. I wanted to glance out it and get a better look at my surroundings. I wasn't thinking when I first escaped, I should've memorized my surroundings.

If Ryder were here, he would not be pleased with my carelessness. If there was one thing Ryder taught me, it was to never be so careless that you don't know where you are. Monsters lurk everywhere. Even in the light of day, they will always be watching and waiting.

Sighing, I balled up my hand and clutched it to my bare stomach. Great another injury to add to the list. I have yet to remove the bandages from around my upper waist, for even though Malachi told me it's because I have broken ribs, I know better than to believe his words. However, I fear what I might find underneath the bandages that have lost their once white complexion as days old dry blood taints them.

I'm not dumb, I know broken ribs do not cause this type of bleeding, but fear still griped my very soul. As my eyes rolled up towards the ceiling, I wondered how I had gotten myself in this situation. My memory is as spotty as a Dalmatian, and it was showing no signs of clearing up anytime soon.

While my eyes remained locked on the ceiling, I dared to use my one good hand to trace up my stomach until it reached the bandages. Gripping the dirty cloths with my fingers, I began to tare them from my body like a cat toward the madams' curtains. Sharp pain echoed throughout my body as if it were an empty mind-shaft, which was more than accurate. For my heart stopped beating many moons ago. What is a body without a heart filled with love? Ask a doctor, and they'll tell you my heart still beats within the bones of my ribs. But if you ask my soul, it will tell you my body as long since been numb, and my heart does not beat the same. I do not miss it nor desire to feel the distastefulness of that disgusting germ, love.

I was a fool to fall into it's hands, and in doing so, I allowed myself to be deceived by it's false promises. It told me love was forever and always...oh, what a lie that was.

Love is a moments kiss and a centuries goodbye.

If love was a person, I imagine I would be the person who killed him. It would only be fair, considering he stole four lives away from me. And I would gladly spend the rest of my life in a rat-infested prison for doing it. At least then, I would have the satisfaction of knowing that bastard felt everything I did. He would finally know what it feels like to die, to have the life drained from your very soul, and yet God keeps you alive.